Dorm bathroom etiquette
It has recently come to my attention that not everyone understands what behaviors constitute appropriate bathroom etiquette in dorm bathrooms, and I've decided it's time to start a productive dialogue. If you’ve lived through any of these experiences, you'll understand exactly where I'm coming from. On the other hand, if you find yourself reading along and feeling more called out than validated, I'm glad I found you. You're my main target audience — get ready to be enlightened! Talking through the stall wall to an acquaintanceYou’re chilling at the sink, washing your hands, when you see a guy you vaguely know walk into the bathroom, tryna take a poop. You give your formalities, ask about the weather, and he walks into the stall. Then, the grave error occurs: Hey, how did that Econ midterm go? you ask from the other side of the wall.This is purely unacceptable. Unless this is a close friend, continuing a conversation through the barrier of a bathroom stall is a complete invasion of privacy that forces the other person to balance their very real needs with the less important task of continuing a useless conversation. Also, that Econ midterm went terribly, and he doesn't want to talk about it. Conversations while brushing teeth
Conversations while brushing teeth is a completely acceptable, positive bathroom interaction. People will generally respond positively to a kind “Hewwo! Haw awe ya?” by a hallmate who's completely oblivious of the toothpaste that's slowly dripping onto their shirt. Good news: this is acceptable dorm bathroom etiquette. Enjoy taking part in these lovely little conversational nuggets of sunshine! To flash or not to flash?
There’s a good chance that you may have, at one point or another, dealt with the existential dilemma of When To Remove The Towel. The problem lies in the fact that removing your towel once behind the curtain means that the towel will inevitably get wet when you turn on the water. But removing the towel before jumping in means that there is a slight risk of some booty being flashed to the world. It is completely respectable to flash a little booty, because it means you clearly have your priorities in order (that is, not getting the towel wet). In conclusion: a slight, subtle booty flash for the sake of a dry towel IS acceptable bathroom etiquette. Throwing away your half-eaten naanwich in the trashYou came back from the Rock at 11 p.m. and suddenly it dawned on you that you forgot to eat dinner. Silly you!* You run to the Ivy Room and grab a naanwich, scarf half of it down, and, for some reason, immediately decide to throw the rest of it in the bathroom trash. By the time the next person comes in to shower at 8 a.m., the bathroom smells like moist naan and fermenting pickled mango. Need I elaborate? This is ~not~ acceptable etiquette. Pooping on the floor????It has come to my attention that, according to an email from Goddard's CAs, someone has been “leaving excrement outside of the toilets.” While some critics might disagree, I say, hey, as long as you're getting away with it, this IS acceptable dorm bathroom etiquette — keep doing you!** In conclusion, here's hoping you all eventually get to experience a perpetually poop-free floor, naanwich-free trash can, and all the other luxuries of a non-dorm bathroom. Until then, enjoy the thrilling challenge of trying to not flash your hallmates and give thanks for your daily toothpaste-foam-filled salutations! * I, personally, will never understand how people ~forget~ to eat meals, but that’s a different conversation.** Just kidding, you're disgusting. Images via, via, via.