Cashiering at Brown
For the most part, I love cashiering at Brown. I like hanging out with my coworkers, attempting (fml) to flirt with cute boys who come through my register, and eating free food. And most people who come through my register are not irritating. But oh my gosh some of the things that people do all of the time when they are interacting with cashiers are beyond annoying.Note: If you were not aware, "Flognonian" is a thread of rants over certain aspects of life at Brown. So brace yourself for a semi-serious rant about cashiering at Brown.Further note: I have cashiered primarily at Andrews and Jo's. I'm sure the Blue Room and the Ivy Room are their own beasts when it comes to cashiering (Credit card declined? Yikes). And I conferred with some of my cashier friends to write this post, so these are not just things that annoy me personally; they are nuisances to cashiers at Brown in general.When you ask me about the schoolwork I'm doing at my register. As you clearly realize by the very fact that you are asking me questions about it, I am legitimately trying to do work. DO YOU DO THAT AT THE ROCK?? Walk up to people going, "What class is that for? Is it interesting?" No, you don't. Because that would be annoying. See where I am going with this?
When you try to steal mozzarella sticks by burying them under a pile of fries and say "Just fries, please." I see those sticks, man. I see them. You're not sneaky. It's so awkward when I catch you stealing so just don't try to steal.Well, scratch that; I accept that people are going to steal. So, just don't be dumb about it. The other day, a boy came through my register at Jo's walking with one of his hands completely behind his back, like so:
Is there a more obvious way to steal?? No. That is not a natural position. You are clearly hiding something. And sure enough, there was a half eaten spicy with in the hand behind his back. Be better. If you're gonna steal, don't let me catch you because it's so uncomfortable for the both of us.When you walk up to my register at Jo's with a closed box and hand me your card, saying, "Can I just use a credit?" What's in the box, dude? Do. You. Think. I. Read. Minds???
^ Noooooope.
When I ask, "Credit and points?" and you try to correct me by saying, "Meal swipe and points," or even, "meal and points." Freshmen, THAT IS WHAT I JUST SAID. Credit and meal swipe are the exact same thing. In a similar vein, when I ask, "Credit and points?" and you respond with, "Credit and THEN points." Yuuuuuuup, dude. I literally have to do them in that order based on how the cash registers work. You don't have to emphasize the order of credit and points. I got this.
How I feel being micromanaged.
When you are on 20 meals a week and have already eaten three times today but confidently say "Credit, please" and then look at me with utter disbelief when I say, "You've used too many credits today. Do you want to use points?" I'm not the one of us who can't remember that they already ate three times today, so don't give me that look!When it's getting near the end of the semester and you roll through my line with something a little over a credit but have no damn way to pay for those points. You have no points, no BearBucks, no extra credits, and no friends around? Then you are the actual worst because I have to use MY points to clear the screen for you. I can't just cancel the transaction midway through-- someone (i.e. me) has to pay for those points so I can ring up other transactions. Not considerate, dude.
When you confidently hand me the fake ID you used to get into a bar earlier in your night and expect me to swipe it. Wrong card, drunk homie. This is always funny though, so it's not the worst cashiering faux pas to commit.When you want to get something else to make it two credits and just walk off to go grab it without telling me what it is you want. And then the line of people and I have to wait for you to take a little walk around Jo's and come back to the register because we are in the middle of a transaction. You could just tell me what you are grabbing and leave your card so I can swipe it while you are gone and continue with my line of customers. That would be great, seriously.When you're off meal plan but don't tell me you have to use BearBucks. Again-- do you think I read minds?!!?When your total is like $9.80 and you say, "I want to use 2 credits-- what can I get?" Omg literally ANYTHING. I don't know your life!? It's totally fine to ask this if your total is like $13.90 because only a very limited number of things will fit within $15.20 and then I can actually narrow down the scope of options for you. But $9.80? I don't know what you like! You can get almost anything!Personal complaint: when not a single one of my nameless cashiering crushes comes in and makes my shift 5x more exciting. Please come in during my shift so I have something to look forward to, mysterious BuDS crushes.
Sincerely,A BuDS cashier and her cashier friends who all have lots of half-serious half-joking frustrations that they needed to voiceImages via, via, via, via, via, via, and via.