The Minden Hotel experience: quarantine edition
It was 1pm on a Tuesday when I suddenly got a phone call from an area code 401 number. I already knew who it was. “Hello, yes, you have been exposed to COVID....” It’s not embarrassing to be exposed to or get COVID because, frankly, things happen that are beyond our control no matter how much effort we put in. However, what’s embarrassing is that we have to quarantine in Minden. Why? Because it sucks, and you’re a loser that still lives on campus if you have to go there. In the following, I will detail the gross experience I had while quarantining in Minden in hopes that it will convey either 1) how you should be trying your hardest to be COVID-safe (especially if you live on campus), or 2) how you should get the vaccine as soon as you can, so you don’t have to deal with this.
The Move-In
As many of us may know, Brown offers an EMS to pick you up from outside your dorm. But that was a solid no from me. I live on Wriston, and I had absolutely no intentions to draw any attention to myself. So, what did I do? I walked my ass over to Minden, carrying only my backpack and a small duffel bag. If I wasn’t going to be seeing anybody, I really only needed some clean undies and socks. However, bringing so little was a foolish mistake on my end. After my silly little walk, I met the EMT at the door to Minden, and they showed me to my room (on the second floor, but we still took the elevator). As soon as I walked in, I realized that what I had brought would not cut it.
The Room
My broken door handle that I never called facilities to fix <3
Each room in Minden is vastly different from the next, but they all pretty much reek of weird early 1900s architecture renovated in the most grotesque way possible to “accommodate” college students. They just do not make sense!
Here are the highlights of the room:
the rooms never have a “perfect” and livable temperature due to the very drafty windows (making it very cold) coupled with fiery heaters (making it very hot)
the bedding provided is hospital grade AKA very thin bedding, a shitty pillow, and no mattress topper
the overhead light is killer horrible – a very harsh white light that is sure to burn holes into your eyes if you stare at it for even a moment
the most uncomfortable, non-cushioned desk chairs that are not ergonomic for anyone
Did I already mention the heater? Well, let me do it again. The heater can only produce extremely hot heat, smells incredibly weird, shoots out burning hot water, and makes horrible clanking noises reminiscent of background noises in a horror movie.
The Bathroom
that light is def a #girlboss
The space between the toilet and the wall >>>>
The bathrooms are even worse. The first error is that the light switch in every Minden bathroom is not intuitive; instead of being located next to the door to the bathroom, they’re all located next to the sink. What makes this even more egregious than it already is is that the bathroom is incredibly small and has so many weird corners and tight turns. Plus, the small window in the bathroom is placed deep enough inside the bathroom that it does not provide nearly enough light to guide your steps to turning on the light. What’s also terrible is the lighting (again, a harsh white lighting) and the mirrors. The mirrors really vary depending on where you live in Minden, but they can be too high up for short people or not even a mirror (I think mine was just a sheet of fogged and distorted reflective metal). I’ve truly never seen a Minden bathroom that would be greenlit in any actual apartment (besides, maybe, a cramped New York City one). However, there are two pros, especially for quarantine: it’s a private bathroom, and its being attached to your room makes getting ready for Zoom class much easier.
The Food
Let me simply say this: Ratty food. Does that illuminate the quality of the food? If not, let me go into more detail. Everyday around 5pm, a worker would drop off a brown bag containing two cold Ratty meals and little sides pre-selected not by us. Most days, I didn't eat this food, as it was not digestible at all. But there was some good food. You could order a 7-day food pack that contained some pretty fantastic items, albeit most of which was junk food. Some of my favorites were frozen packets of Kraft mac and cheese, hot pockets, “organic” instant ramen, and pudding cups! There were also tons of small chip bags in these 7-day food packs, so I did come out of quarantine as someone who actually enjoys eating chips! Mmm, what I would do for some Doritos right now...
The Move-Out
The move-out was actually more difficult than the move-in. First, I gathered all of my stuff and threw away any trash. After this and before leaving the building, I dropped off my room key in a drop-off box in the foyer of Minden. Then, I walked back to my dorm. This was the worst part. There isn’t an option for an EMS, unless you have a prior agreement, and most of us somehow end up leaving with more stuff—which means more stuff to lug back to your dorm. After all, how can you knowingly leave behind some yummy snacks and plastic water bottles? So, I walked back to my dorm like a pack mule, and as soon as I stepped foot into my room, I immediately flopped onto my cozy, warm, amazing bed. Never again, I thought and hoped, will I go back there.
"ugh, such nice selfie lighting! uwu"
"i hate it here </3"
In short, living in Minden was a god-awful nightmare! It was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. As such, if you’re unfortunate enough to have to quarantine there anytime soon, I highly recommend hopping on the provided EMS and bringing with your whole room (special attention on cozy bedding) and any seasonings you may have. You’ll need anything and everything to make it through this.
Images via Elliana Reynolds '22.
