Introducing this Spring's Blog Babies!
They’ve finally arrived!! After combing through tons of awesome apps, these are the shining gems we’ve chosen! Keep reading to meet this semester’s new writers.
(Missed the boat? Keep an eye out for next year’s application or email us at info@blognonian.com)
Fia “Sofia” Boracci is a sophomore English Concentrator with a lot of heart. She’s an Italian from Florence. But honey, don’t get it twisted. It’s Florence, New Jersey, home of the cake boss! If she were a fruit, she would be a honey-crisp apple because she seems “basic at first glance, but offers a little something something”. What is that “something something” ? Read her work to find out more, sweeties. Fia is expressly not a green apple because apples “are supposed to be sweet” and green apples are certainly not that. They’re sour and they’re bad! Her previous credits include BMP (where she supervised a script), BOLT (where she encountered a bear), and Brown University Orientation (where she became a freshman). Finally, Fia does not like the Christmas crane or cranes in general. If your building needs a crane to be built, then honey, It’s. Too. Tall.
~Eli Kaplan ‘22
Amanda is a junior from San Diego. She is concentrating in Archaeology, Egyptology, and MCM, which makes her an Extremely Cool Person. In fact, I had to ask what MCM stood for, because I am not an Extremely Cool Person. It means Modern Culture and Media. DUH. Amanda will be guest writing for the Blognonian, mostly covering queer topics, especially in relation to the “wild things” she finds in the archives at the Hay, where she works. In a nutshell, “gay stuff.” Speaking of nutshells, if Amanda were a fruit, she would be an almond, which is indeed a fruit, how dare you not know that, and even though it is not a very ostentatious fruit, “the good stuff is on the inside.” Like almonds, Amanda also enjoys consuming large quantities of water and is a self-proclaimed “crunchy gal.” She gives off mad sustainable vibes, but wanted to make it clear that she is NOT a vegetarian or vegan. Recently, Amanda has been compulsively drawing mushrooms on every inch of her class notes. Where did this impulse come from? God knows.
~Caroline Risner ‘22
Ali Lovell is a junior from South Carolina -- specifically, an island near Charleston -- but she grew up in Atlanta, Georgia. She is concentrating in English and Italian. Why Italian? Well, she wanted to study another language during her time at college, and Italian was the only language course that didn’t have class on Fridays. To this day, she still does not have class on Fridays, which she appreciates greatly. If Ali were a fruit, she would absolutely not be an apple, a cantaloupe, or honeydew, which happen to be some of the most common fruits in the dinings halls here at Brown. She would, instead, be a strawberry, partially because it’s a fairly inoffensive fruit and it can be used in all sorts of dishes such as salads, smoothies, dessert, etc., but mostly because she simply “vibes with them.”
~The Blognonian
Eli is a sophomore from Washington DC with a talent for humor and performance. His previous credits include Improvidence, SOTG’s As You Like It, and PW’s The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity, where he learned how to fake wrestle. This makes him a formidable opponent; don’t challenge him about the superiority of “the lighthouse, the beacon of the christmas crane” over Blueno, who he thinks is “just fine”. Though he wants Doja Cat for Spring Weekend, the elevator music that plays in Eli’s head is Vroom Vroom by Charli XCX, which makes for the most bangin elevator party you could possibly imagine. You can find Eli walking around campus wearing forest green or studying in the Sci Li because he “can’t study in pretty places”. If he were a fruit, Eli would be a nectarine, because he’s juicy and smooth in both senses of the word (he’s debonair AND can’t grow facial hair.)
~Sofia Boracci ‘22
Caroline is a <<‹›fifl˝ııı¸˘¸¸◊◊˛ı˜ˆ{{{PLME}}}˝˝¨ˆØ∏⁄€‹›fifl‡°>> biology concentrator·from Austin, Texas. Caroline “feel[s] like [she’s] from Austin, but not from Texas”. Caroline, a PLME, is drawn to all things goofy and irreverent, and she expects to bring this same energy to her writing at Blog and to all her great adventures during her 8 years at Brown (to clarify: Caroline will be at Brown for 8 years because she is PLME). When asked what kind of fruit she would be, Caroline—who is PLME—speculated that she “could be a peach because [she’s] from the South but [doesn’t] like it. Peaches get shipped elsewhere so they don’t have to be in the South anymore. But they’re definitely socialized in the South.” However, the PLME student did wonder whether may, in fact, be blueberries (plural) instead: “Every third blueberry is, like, a**. I’m great, some days.” (The author of this blurb suspects Caroline is great closer to every day.)
~Amanda Brynn ‘21
Finnian Lowden ‘22 grew up in Austin, Texas, which is “the okay part of Texas.” He is concentrating in Public Policy and Economics, mainly so that he can respond when conservatives try to shut down liberal policy with economic arguments. He identifies with the citrus fruit known as the lemon because he can be a bit difficult and sour, but he is also an integral ingredient in many yummy desserts, such as lemon meringue pie. Also, he is zesty. He has a younger sister, who he does like, and his favorite animal is “fish.” When asked what his favorite color is, he responded, “Ugh, color???” as if deeply offended by the inquiry. He would die for Elizabeth Warren. After she recently dropped out of the Democratic primary, he printed her concession speech and now carries it around in his backpack. He wants to write about politics for Blog, which is not a political publication, and cover campus happenings, compile resources for students, and silently observe the Blog group chat until “the time comes” when intervention becomes necessary.
~Gemma Brand-Wolf ‘22
Gemma Brand-Wolf ’22 is a valley girl born and raised in sunny Los Angeles, California. Despite being a writer (and now an edit board member) of the Blog for over a year, Gemma is just now getting her blog baby post! She’s already written her “Sex and the Campus” parody. As the head and singular member of the Blognonian’s publiciteam, Gemma plans to spend even more time than usual on social media. After declaring her independent concentration in the Studies of Death & Life, Gemma is proud to announce she’s not goth (anymore). Gemma is also “proudly” lactose intolerant, but this “pride” makes it obvious that she’s never tried baked brie. When she’s not writing for Blog, Gemma is more than happy to explain the intricacies of ceramics, pottery, and clay-related linguistics. Finally, if you ever wake up from a haunting dream about raccoons, know that Gemma probably triggered it. If you check your phone, odds are she’s sent you dozens of pictures of “trash pandas.”