SATC: Your Story

Walking into the second floor restroom in Smitty-B, I am overcome by a desire to get the hell out of there. The smell of the soap, which washes over me in waves, reminds me so much of last year that I am viscerally repulsed. I have no bad memories associated with that specific bathroom or, for that matter, with Smitty-B itself. Actually, I only ever had one class there.But that one class was the first class I ever shopped at Brown, and thinking all the way back to those months of freshman year is a bit nauseating. I remember the weather changing, the days shortening, and I dread the cold wind and the 4pm sunsets. I remember the long walk from Keeney to Smitty-B every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I remember feeling lost and untethered and excited.When I walk around campus, I am struck by a strange feeling of deja-vu. It seems things are happening for the second time, that I’ve been here before. As simplistic and obvious as it may sound, I have been here before, and that’s worth paying attention to. This time around, however, I am not starting fresh: I have friends, and I know how shopping period works, and I have routines that, with a little adjusting, I can fall right back into. Ghosts of last year haunt me a bit as I walk around campus. Sometimes it can be overwhelming, as it was when I walked into Smitty-B. Usually it is comforting, and sends memories flooding through my mind; good or bad, they are memories now, and I am reassured by the simple fact that time will keep going, and I will keep going with it.As I go, I picture myself repaving the paths I took so often in freshman year, burying all those past experiences under new ones. I am adding layers, building up the strata on an imaginary rock. Next time I stop to look back, I might find the rock has become a mountain, that all those days and weeks and months of walking really added up. Moments really do add up, and sometimes it is easy to keep my eyes on the ground in front of me, to take everything one step at a time until I get to the top. But where is the top? The top of what? I don’t know where I’m going, and I’ll certainly spend a lot more time on the trail than I will at the destination. I figure I might as well enjoy the view along the way.But what does this have to do with the Smitty-B bathroom, and what does it have to do with SATC? Good question. Sex and the Campus is a weekly column dedicated to these kinds of moments, the ones that seem to pass so quickly but leave imprints that still affect us a year later. Think of me as a geologist: I’m here to study the strata, to pay attention to the things that tend to fall between the cracks in our busy lives. And yes, SATC is a reference to Sex and the City, so I will also be tackling those topics: sex, love, relationships, etc. On the classic (and somewhat problematic) TV show, Carrie Bradshaw asks a lot of questions. For example, she asks “Why are we should-ing all over ourselves?” and “Are all men freaks?” I am not trying to impersonate Carrie Bradshaw, but I will be asking a lot of questions. In doing so, I am hoping that I can remind everyone that no one knows everything. There is a void on campus, a vacuum of vulnerability. SATC is an attempt to fill that void with stories. This year, I will be sending out a weekly survey so that you, yes you, can help me broaden my scope. I want to hear your stories and express a wider perspective that encompasses more identities and experiences across campus. You can either submit a story in "Tiny Love Stories" style -- that is, tell me your story in 100 words or less and you could be published on the Blognonian in a monthly selection of stories. AND/OR tell me your story in whatever way you want and I will incorporate it into my weekly article. All stories will be published/paraphrased anonymously so as to encourage honesty and discourage any Taylor-Swift-like backlash. I think of it as expanding my source pool outside of just myself. In the past, I've used examples from friends, so this is kind of widening the group of people from whom I can get examples. Each week, I will choose a theme and send out this survey. If you have experiences that you want others to be able to learn from, good, bad, meh, or anywhere in between, write 'em here! Note: this doesn't have to be about sex -- it can be about friends, family, personal thoughts, or your own experiences in Smitty-B. Images via, and via.