How to survive Mercury in retrograde @ Brown

Hello, my Astrological Sinners! On Scorpio on Pisces and Cancer and Virgo, on Aquarius and Capricorn and Taurus and Leo! And also Libra, Gemini, Aries and Sagittarius, I guess.This is a Public Service Announcement that Mercury went into retrograde YESTERDAY, March 5th, at 10:19am. I'm sure you all know on a fundamental level that this "f*cks sh*t up, but why?? Well, Mercury governs technology, travel, and communication. This mysterious planet goes into its restful state of retrograde 3-4 times a year; and no it's not actually moving backwards as it passes by earth, but it does appear to do so. Essentially, it's "resting" and therefore not handling all the stuff that it needs to handle, hence pandemonium.But do not fret, for I am here to help you zodiac babies! Follow my instructions and you'll be just fine.

1. Back up your computer. Right now, and, yes, I'm looking at you, person who says they will but WON'T (*cough cough* Sagittarius). Seniors: save your theses! Mercury can mess with your technology so just be prepared and also don't leave any open liquids near your computer/phone/precious metals.
2. Check and double check your Spring Break travel plans -- and don't have Aquarius or Libra plan it. Mercury's retrograde lasts three weeks. Therefore, it encompasses the first few days of our Spring Break, and as you now know, Mercury messes with travel. Do not pull an Amazing Race and forget your passport, Pisces.
3. Do      not      text      your      ex      (especially YOU, Scorpio). Yes the retrograde is all about "re-_____," but "rekindling" an old fling is not ideal, unless it is for closure. Think more along the lines of "redecorating" your dorm room, and enlist the help of Virgo or Taurus.
4. Stop, think, and breathe before you speak (@ Cancer & Aries !!! ) The retrograde stirs up emotions and can make communication really fuzzy and ineffective. Think before you yell at your Leo roommate for not taking their hair out of the drain, even though you have already asked them politely.
5. Make a clear schedule for appointments since it is that time of year for INTERVIEWS. Capricorn, you would haaaate to miss your appointment/interview, so be extra careful. Don't mess up the time zone difference. Nobody wants to hear you whine about it afterward.
6. Consider this a time to tie up loose ends rather than to make new plans. Stop overextending yourself, Gemini. Do that thing you started a month ago but never finished. Hang out with that friend you've had plans with for awhile now. Stop having ulterior motives (that one is just a dig at Geminis ;) we love to hate ya). Essentially, you all should "renew" your previous commitments.

Lastly, we need to give a shoutout to Pisces because it's their season right now! This also explains the whirlwind of emotions happening -- Pisces season AND Mercury in retrograde? Dang. And to all the Capricorns/Saturn-heavy charts saying that astrology is trash right now: shush. Good luck everyone!Your favorite Crab,Jillian Images via and via.Astrology checked by Fadwa Ahmed '18 <3