Last Semester Was Just a Fluke

“Last semester was just a fluke”, says sophomore student Jack McArthur, after building no sustainable study or mental health habits in his first three semesters at Brown. McArthur is reported to have NCed two of his five classes last semester. “I think the professors graded really unfairly and they didn’t even follow with the textbook” stated McArthur, despite only actually looking at the textbook on the first day of class. After thorough investigation, cryptography and cybersecurity experts have uncovered that the sophomore loaded Facebook a total of twenty-seven times during the block saved on his Google calendar as ‘Study sesh (FOCUS)’.“They say you perform better on tests if you’re happy and excited,” McArthur gave as justification for his missing of the final exam review session to stay in and play the new Smash Bros game.The Department of Homeland Security advised Blog not to conduct an in-person interview with McArthur, as his condition may be contagious. McArthur’s grandmother is sure that he’ll do great no matter what since he is the sweetest and smartest young man in the country. The math department’s official position is that they are confident McArthur will be able to turn his life around a full 360 degrees.McArthur was last seen letting his friends know that “it will be really easy to stop procrastinating and make new habits for the rest of my time at Brown, so I’ll probably get to it tomorrow.” Image via