Look Up, Art Hoe: Valentine's Day Edition

I have no legitimate advice to give on how to find a Valentine (aside from DATAMATCH!!!), so I went to a place where people love to write about their experiences and offer potential pickup lines: the List staircase! Look Up, Art Hoe and read about your peers’  love advice and stories. In one section labeled, "Tell me your love stories," someone responded with a sweet, albeit extremely unrelatable claim: "My dorm bed is too small when I sleep in it alone, but the two of us fit perfectly." While this reply literally makes no sense, it is a nice sentiment. This line is recommended for underclassmen. Next up is a classic, feel-good Brown love story: "Pembroke 4Everett." Don't fret if your significant other is all the way across campus! "Like— it's sad," but remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder. That's why being ghosted only makes you want them more, right? Well, fuck. This one roughly translates to "The romanticism of love was invented to manipulated women." Here, we find a quiet and subtle mating call, written in small lettering. Perhaps, the List staircase is the vintage version of Brown's multiple facebook "admirers" pages.

Now, Here's a pretty tragic one-liner story to inspire you during this romantic week! Honestly, no more explanation needed:

This diary-style entry starts off very typical. Yet, it gets better when it reaches, "He has webbed toes & spearfishes & gets his hair into this rumply style," and then suddenly concludes with "BOYS SUCK!" I am confused by the interaction that transpired but undeniably intrigued.

This one isn't love related, but it is useful when someone asks what you're doing for Valentine's day, knowing damn well that you're going to be in lab/bed/the Scili:

Now, Let's go into a few pickup lines. If you have a Valentine and want to let them know they're special (but only a little special), let them know you've got 5,999 other options with the line, "6,000 undergrads and I only want you." 

Finally, the best and most relatable line goes to, "Hug me Providence springs are cold." This SUPER relevant line is sure to inspire someone to warm up to you. Also, the little figure is adorable. If someone drew this for me on a Valentine's day card and wrote this line, I would totally be their Valentine.

Happy Valentine's day, art lovers!

Images via Jillian Hojsak