The scariest things that could happen to you at Brown
We all know that the odds of seeing a ghost or getting attacked by a vampire are extremely low, even if you do believe in the supernatural. But who needs monsters when there are plenty of non-supernatural frights right here on College Hill?In the spirit of Halloween, here's a list of the scariest scenarios you could find yourself in at Brown, guaranteed to make your heart race: Learning that you've missed the S/NC deadline for a class you haven't been to more than twice since it started.
Getting called out for trying to steal Uncrustables from Jo's. Actually, making eye contact with the Jo's security guard is scary regardless of whether or not you're actually stealing.Sitting in your dorm room in Keeney, mid-bong-hit, surrounded by candles, knives, tapestries, halogen touchière lamps, and pets, hearing a knock on the door, and suddenly remembering that Res Life Inspections are this week.Feeling a sudden urge to sneeze while working in the Absolute Quiet Room.Calculating your potential grade for a class on Canvas and realizing you need to get an 117% on the final in order to scrape by with a 89.50% that will give you an A in the class.Trying to register for four capped classes that you need in order to graduate. Extra scary: Waking up and realizing you slept through your alarm and then trying to register for four capped classes that you need in order to graduate.Accidentally dropping a fork in the Ratty compost bin. 
Getting cold-called by your Topics in American Constitutional Law professor when you haven't done the reading.Deciding that you'd rather stay in bed for another hour than interview for a job you don't really want, and then learning that you've been permanently suspended from Handshake by CareerLAB as a result. (PSA: This is a real thing!!!)Drafting a Brown Bear's Admirers Post and accidentally setting it as your Facebook status. Extra scary: If the post was about yourself.Showing up to an a cappella concert and then realizing that your friend isn't in the group that's performing.Getting aggressively kicked out of Whiskey's.Flirting with your TA at a random house party, finding out they're not interested, and then realizing, upon looking at your next problem set, that you'll definitely need to go to their office hours the next day.Getting yelled at by a group of donut-bearing naked people after you took your phone out during the Naked Donut Run to respond to your mom's urgent texts.Purposefully tanking your final in order to get an NC in the class you really should've gotten an A in, and then ending up with a C because the curve was so high. 
Leaving a party and accidentally realizing you grabbed the wrong jacket. Even scarier: Realizing that your wallet, keys, and ID are all in the pocket of your actual jacket, which is nowhere to be found. Scarier still: Realizing that getting it back would require 'fessing up to the fact that you own a Canada Goose. (At this point, you should probably just take the L.)Asking your professor what's going to be on the midterm and being told, "If you've been doing the readings, you'll be fine."*Standing in line at the Blue Room and then spotting the random girl who you confessed all of your life secrets to last night in the bathroom of Sigma. As she starts heading towards you to say hi, it slowly dawns on you that you have no idea what her name is.Critiquing a reading that you only skimmed and then realizing, based on every single one of your 14 classmates' faces, that the satirical aspect of it went completely over your head.Arriving at Spring Weekend only to slowly realize that the Sour Patch Kid given to you by that dude Doug from your first year unit was actually an edible.Arriving at Spring Weekend only to slowly realize that the “edible” sold to you by that dude Doug from your first year unit was actually just a plain Sour Patch Kid.Realizing that your laundry has been sitting in the washing machine for two hours, and because it's the weekend, the machines are in high demand and someone will no doubt have removed your clothing and placed it on the top of the machine. Extra scary: Remembering that this is the one time you decided to experiment with machine-washing your most aggressive lingerie.Going into the BioMed basement. * You have not been doing the readings. Here's hoping your October 31st is full of only the good kind of scary!! Happy Halloween! Images via, via, via, and via.
