Family Weekend 101: keeping your parents busy
“Don’t worry, honey, we can keep ourselves busy.” These are the famous last words spoken by every parent when they tell you they’re trekking up to Providence for Family Weekend and you inform them that while you’d love to hang out, you have approximately eight midterms to study for, three essays to write, and nine or ten parties to attend. Upon arriving, they’ll first want to see your dorm room (be sure to clean up), and take an awkward picture of you perched on your bed (which you somehow got them to believe has been made for the last month). Once they have this shot, they'll realize they need one of you posed outside every single building on campus while everybody you’ve ever met walks by. After these essential steps have finally been completed and your parents decide you should really be studying (how could you get distracted like this!), they’ll wander off, scouring the campus for some gourmet food and your future spouse. To keep them out of trouble, consider building them an itinerary of activities to keep them busy the whole weekend long. Read on for suggestions. Visit Blueno!
Any first-time visitor to campus will be amused by Blueno for at least 45 minutes. Give them some discussion prompts ahead of time to spark a heated debate about its legitimacy as artwork, and they won’t be back to bother you for the rest of the day. Go to the bookstore
Tell your parents you’ve been a little chilly lately as you give them a subtle shove in the direction of 244 Thayer. They might just come back with a fresh Brown Patagonia for you, along with gifts for their nieces, nephews, and cousins-once-removed. Watch the big game
Tell them about the football game this Saturday, and be sure to really hype it up (it's supposed to be a close one this time, I swear!!). Send them off to cheer for your team. It’ll likely take them about two hours to find the stadium, and then once they arrive they’ll be swept up into the ~tailgate~. Getting back to campus will take them twice as long, and if you’re lucky they’ll still be drunk when they arrive (8 more Patagonias for you!). Go to an a cappella concert
Bring your parents to any building on campus this weekend and I guarantee there will be at least one a cappella group singing in it (to no one in particular). Since Mom and Dad will now be fully in character as college intellectuals after their Blueno debate, a concert will prove to be just the cultural and enriching experience they're looking for to finish off the weekend (consider keeping them away from some of the better groups, though, or be prepared to face questions regarding your own relative lack of talent and engagement). Most of all, enjoy the weekend! If you aren't expecting any visitors, do your best to slide into your friends' fancy dinner reservations and take full advantage of the wide range of activities Brown is putting on to impress its favorite people (visit this page for a full schedule!). Images via, via, via, via, and via.