I auditioned for the Poler Bears so you didn't have to

I am not an athletic person. Never have been, never will be. The only time you’ll see me working out is when I’m tricking my body into being active by doing something fun. So when I heard about the Brown University Poler Bears, I was all ears. People twirling on poles while simultaneously looking sexy, classy, and somehow working towards a six pack at the same time? Count me in! Saturday afternoon, I suited up in my booty shorts and sports bra and eagerly pranced my way down to T.F. Green, not quite sure what to expect.As I shuffled into the building, I was overwhelmed by blasting music and potential poler cubs, eagerly waiting for auditions to begin. After being handed my number, I sat down in the studio and tried to make myself look like I knew what I was doing by attempting to stretch. Some girl next to me was doing a full on split. Needless to say, I was shitting myself. We were told that no experience was necessary, but everyone else seemed to have grown up with a stripper for a mother. I hoped that my fierce “attitude” would get me through.I smiled through the pole-to-leg chafe and even though I needed the move demonstrated an embarrassing number of times, I made sure to pop my booty out extra hard when twirling around the pole. I pushed through the self-consciousness and actually had a good time unleashing my inner Sasha Fierce. I had a genuine smile on my face and was sad when it was time to go. In the end, we were rounded up and told we would receive a call around 4:30 if we were called back. Alas, my dreams of becoming a Poler Bear were crushed, as I received no such call. But, I learned something nonetheless. Sometimes you have to put on something sexy and make a fool out of yourself. Because chances are, you’ll have a great time doing it. Also, put chalk in your knee pit before spinning around a pole, because that shit will hurt.Images via, via