Your first night out at Brown, hour by hour

7:00 You leave your room to meet your friends at  the V-Dub for dinner. You're all finally past the “Where are you from? Oh, California? Do you know my friend X?” stage, but you're not quite ready to talk about how much the food at the Ratty is screwing up your—erm—digestive schedule. Maybe the V-Dub will be better. You drink a lot of water. This is your best move all night. 

Glorious relief from the Ratty?

 8:00 One of your friends says they think they know someone who thinks they know someone who’s having a party, maybe. Upon investigation, the party does not exist. You go back to another friend’s room where there is a bottle of something gross his dad bought him. 9:00 You are a little drunker than the hour calls for but out of alcohol because a horde of freshmen (from unknown locations just begging to be inquired after) came in and finished it off. You text that friend who mysteriously disappeared about an hour ago. He is worse off than you. 

A cryptic reply.

 10:00 Your new, larger group heads to Em-Wool because someone said there was a “rager” going on there and none of you have ever been to a “rager.” 11:00 Upon investigation, the “rager” is just another group of equally confused freshmen. There is instant recognition between your original group and this new one. Everyone learns each other’s names, hometowns, and intended concentrations, then immediately forgets them. 

Don't worry, not everyone is from here.

 12:00 Back in Jameson (your feet hurt from all this walking), someone has found another few bottles of something and you are definitely drunk now. 1:00 Uh-oh. Your V-Dub dinner makes a second appearance. 2:00 Sobering up a bit, you have your first real conversation at Brown that’s not about where you’re from or what classes you might take. You get the Snapchats of a few people who you're actually excited to have lunch with. You feel a strange, foreign impulse to rear your head back and scream, "I LOVE COLLEGE!" but a group of guys standing on the steps to Archibald has taken care of that already. 3:00 Your head hits the pillow. You think you might smell funny (or maybe it’s just that signature Jameson musk) but you’re too tired to care. The pillowcase also smells weird. You start to investigate, but then you realize that it’s just because you bought it two days ago at Target. 

You've been dreaming about this for hours.

 4:00 Glorious, baby-like sleep. 5:00 Panic! Your mouth has never been this dry! You rush to the bathroom and guzzle down tap water as fast as you can. 6:00 The sun rises on your new life. Birds are chirping outside your room. Professors are grading your assignments. Providence is waking up, but you won't for a while. Images via Paul Michaud '22, via, via, and via.