A not-so-secret guide to sneaking in alcohol

Now that the ticketing fiasco is over, Brown students must move on to the arguably most difficult part of Spring Weekend; how to get alcohol into the Main Green. This is DPS's weekend to shine, and they aren't messing around when it comes to letting nothing in. While I would disagree with the sentiment overheard in class today that you have to be drunk to enjoy rap, it is the one weekend where utterly irresponsible and excessive behavior is kind of acceptable. In order to help you fully enjoy your Spring Weekend as you choose, whether that be sober/drunk/high/tripping/etc, the last thing you should have to worry about is how to get your stuff into the concert. There is no guarantee any of these methods actually work, but, hey, it’s worth a try (side note: please report back success).The classic bury the booze and dig it up while in there:Pro: You don't have to actually sneak anything past DPS, and can bring in larger quantities of alcohol.Con: Actually digging it up during the concert isn't too subtle. (Hey what's up hello–to the group with garden trowels.)Fill up empty bottles of sunscreen: Pro: Plausible since SW is outside (!!!) and because skin protection is obviously the main concern for the weekend.Con: People will be super concerned to see you chugging sunscreen.Lock a bike on the Main Green and put alcohol in the basket:Pro: Again, not having to sneak past DPS officers and no obvious digging.Con: The alcohol is vulnerable to enterprising college students.Wine Bra:Pro: Highly doubt DPS will actually pat you down, and this one holds 25 ounces of liquid?! (Also it's on Amazon Prime–act fast.)Con: The awkward deflating and the weird tube coming from your chest.Those weird fake empty tampons: Pro: Can easily claim feminine hygiene.Con: Apparently DPS is onto this trick and last year they smelled someone's tampons to see if they were real.Banana-shaped flask hidden in the crotch:Pro: The shape makes for nice placement (a fellow blogger claims this is student-tested and a proven success)Con: Although this seems stupid on the surface, I can't think of any immediate drawbacks.Reseal plastic water bottles:Pro: Can appear legit if done correctly.Con: The effort that goes into actually properly resealing a water bottle.This is not a challenge for the faint of heart, but with a little ingenuity and complete disregard for embarrassment, you could find yourself supplying the masses, or at least your friends, with free-flowing alcohol straight on the Main Green. Heck, you could even starting charging people on the Main Green too! However you choose to enjoy Spring Weekend 2016, it’s sure to be great with Fetty, Tink, Tinashe and Demarco all looking to blow our minds. Enjoy responsibly, or...irresponsibly!Images via, via, via