Black Friday in Rhode Island
As I do every year, I ventured into the mess that is Black Friday shopping. I imagine Black Friday shopping in Rhode Island is the same as in other areas - camping outside stores in the cold, fighting with grown women over flatscreen TV-doorbusters, and losing your friends/family in the aisles before having to call them like a scared child. I’ve never been the kind of person that makes it to the store openings (I rarely am awake before 9AM, let alone 6AM), but I honestly don’t feel that I’m missing much. Maybe things actually are smaller in Rhode Island, and not just the state itself.
My day began at 10AM, which I was pretty proud of. By the time I finally got out of bed and ready it was closer to noon. I know Disney World is usually called the Happiest Place on Earth, but I believe my mom and I went to the actual happiest place on earth: the Warwick Mall. As I left all my clothes at school, I was disguised as Lauren circa. 2018, so I was confident that any inevitable run-ins with ex-boyfriends or high school classmates would go unnoticed. I did in fact see a sort-of-acquaintance from high school while in the mall, and I did what any functioning adult would do, which was turn around and duck into a clothing rack.
We began at Target, where we purchased our one and only doorbuster deal of the day: a Roomba for my uncle. Something about buying a vacuum from an aisle filled with vacuums and free of people took away from the thrill of saving money. On the bright side, we did also purchase a $3 gnome which was delightful. Following Target, we went to Nordstrom Rack (there are no longer any actual Nordstrom stores in the entire state of Rhode Island), the Paper Store, and Macy’s where we purchased gifts ranging from a provocative slip dress to fuzzy socks for adults. My favorite store that we hit was Bath and Body Works. Smelling candles and putting way too much scented lotion on really does make my overtired monkey brain happy. I haven’t quite figured out how to smell things with a mask on, though.
At the stores we encountered a new pandemic-generated awkwardness - waiting in line to enter stores to maintain social distancing. I felt bad for the very kind staff members who were tasked with monitoring the lines and having to give the same “do you know about our sale today?” speech hundreds of times. I would also find it distressing how many people I saw without masks, wearing masks improperly, or even wiping their noses before touching merchandise. Rhode Island truly is a lovely place sometimes. Overall, the stores were just as busy as usual, we didn’t even have trouble parking. The staff were very helpful with directions and checking out items, and lines weren’t bad at all!
The final stop was Target Pt. 2 (Taylor’s Version (is that the joke the kids are doing these days???)). After a long day of walking around and spending too much money, we deserved a snack. Before walking back to the car outside of Target, my mom and I purchased potato chips, the true win of the day. I was distraught to see that our cashier was an attractive 20-something. There’s something particularly humiliating about seeing a same-age person of the opposite sex in public. The tension was palpable as he scanned the potato chips and spoke to my mother and not me. I was too busy looking at the children’s books “Christmas With You” where a child’s name is written into the story with Santa. In case you were wondering, they did not have a book with “Lauren” in the story.
Today’s haul amassed three wonderful items: a body wash that came free at Bath and Body Works, $12 Mom Jeans, and clear acetate heels that make my feet look like weird pieces of raw chicken. All in all, if you’re home over the holiday and are looking for somewhere lowkey to wander around and shop without being devoured by crowds, Black Friday shopping in Rhode Island has always been successful and enjoyable for me.
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