Senior Superlative Results 2020
With a week remaining before the start of the new academic year, we at the Blognonian are proud to present the winners of the Senior Superlatives for 2020!
Most Brown Famous: Lucy Duda
Best First-Year Unit: 11
“Jameson 3 was THE party floor and if you think otherwise, you are wrong.”
“We want to shout out Noëlle Cousins who lived in Jameson for all four years and carried on the legacy of incredible RPL leadership.”
Most likely to work on Capitol Hill: Rose Lang-Maso
Rose has decided to yet again take it as a compliment that people say that she’s just “so political” all the time, because being apolitical is a privilege that many people don’t have. She was happy that the voting process for the Blognonian was online and fully accessible to students, and Rose now is just hoping that when she actually runs for office to make our government work for everyone, that you’ll show up and vote for her again. She has appreciated the support and the (admittedly disproportionate number of) challenges in Brown Dems and CDRI over the past few years, looking forward to many more.
Capitol Hill may not be the same as College Hill, but it will do. She misses Den Den Korean Fried Chicken, the East Side Mini Mart, and New Watson already, almost as much as she misses her New Dorm crew.
Most likely to have their own reality TV show: Will Hackett
Most likely to become a famous author: Parisa Thepmankorn
Most likely to have never set foot in a Brown library: Oren Karp
Oren is thrilled to receive this superlative as recognition for his accomplishments, but not as overjoyed as his parents, who, when told about the superlative, quipped, ‘but every time we call you, you tell us you can’t pick up because you’re in the library!’
In fact, Oren would like to clarify somewhat scandalously that he has been in a Brown University library. He once shopped a class in the Rock basement, which he later described as ‘detestable,’ and he made sporadic trips to various libraries in search of friends to distract from their homework whenever he got lonely. Oren is on the record as saying, ‘there are no happy or sad buildings. Only happy or sad people. Except all the libraries, which are sad, and Leung gallery, where everyone is always happy.’ Many of those who have mistaken Leung gallery for a study space will not be upset that Oren, along with his ‘remarkably resonant’ and ‘loud’ voice, will now be absent from the space, though his memory will live on and he will continue to post in the Facebook group.
Oren doesn’t know where he will ‘study’ after graduation or how his lifestyle may change, but one thing is for sure: he will be living Leung and wild and free forever.
Most likely to be “in a meeting”: Julian de Georgia
"Option 1: Did I forget to write this for a few weeks? Sorry - I forgot to put it in my calendar.
Option 2: Quirks of being friends with an overcommitted person: 1. You may be asked to send Google calendar invites for social occasions (for better or worse, I live by my calendar so if an event isn’t there, likelihood is I’ll forget), 2. Weekly scheduled meals / calls become a great way to stay in touch. Who needs spontaneity when you can simply plan ahead? 3. You’ll learn to love (or at least accept) never sitting down for dinner - Ratty to-go boxes were my staple. Because my job was pushed back until December, I have nothing to do for the first time in four years. Wish me luck and please stop me if I try doing something productive rather than actually taking a break."
Most likely to come back as a spring weekend performer: Danny Schiller
Best Off-campus house: Pink House
We would like to thank the GCB for hosting all of our after-parties, Maddie Pizzarelli for writing a bomb song about our house (find her on Spotify), and Charli for letting us blame it on your love.
This award is brought to you by Piezoni’s and from the very bottom of our PINK hearts: Jordana, Julia, Alicia, Maia, Katherine, Marie, Sarah, Anna, Eliana, and Emma
Least international international student/most international non-international student: Emilio Picayo
Most likely to have written own BBA post: Lucy Duda
Most likely to be found at GCB: Angie Kim
Most likely to be caught juuling at (virtual) graduation: John Rush
"A 2017 study found that "paternal exposure to nicotine prior to reproduction induced a broad protective response to multiple xenobiotics in male offsprings" including "increased survival following injection to toxic levels of either nicotine or cocaine, accompanied by hepatic up regulation of xenobiotic processing genes, and enhanced drug clearance" (Vallaster et al.) With this in mind, I juul not for myself, but for my future children in hopes that they can become high functioning coke fiends. Call me the worlds greatest dad."
Most likely to become a Brown professor: Charlie Steinman
"My junior and senior years, I worked the late shift at the circulation desk at the Rock. That meant that from 10pm-2am, at least twice a week, I sat at the desk and, between bits and pieces of studying and homework, checked out books, gave people chargers, and wasted a whole lot of time chatting with friends. The spring of my junior year, a few of my friends were taking a class on the High Middle Ages with my advisor Amy Remensnyder. Medieval history was my focus in undergrad and I had taken that class, and now of course I'm starting my PhD in medieval history at Columbia in the fall. So, people would come to the circ desk on nights when I was working to ask for help on assignments for this class. As the semesters went on, this became true not only of other medieval studies and history classes, but people would come to me with romantic problems, life crises, and memes. In short, these were my office hours, during which I would describe medieval Latin sources as "bangers" that "slapped" and provided completely unfounded dating advice. Like any professor's office hours, really."
Most likely to win an Oscar: Paola Jiminez
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's three thousand words from a future Oscar recipient.
Most likely to go to grad school forever to avoid adulthood: John Rush
Most likely to still be on meal plan after graduating: Fabrice Guyot-Sionnest
Most likely to be talking about their thesis: Camila Pelsinger
Most likely to be found in the CIT: Griffin Kao
"The CIT can be astonishingly beautiful for the sense of community and acceptance that it provides some. Yet it can be heinous and cruel for others that have found their mental health or sense of agency taken away within the confines of its walls. Thanks to forward-thinking students, the CS department has made progress in recent years through efforts to be more inclusive and socially impactful — efforts such as improvements in diversity training, the introduction of diversity and wellness advocates, an expansion of social good opportunities, etc. However, there is still so much room to grow. We continue to allow for inequitable policies, TA’s continue to mansplain, and the appearance of our faculty continues to reflect a reality that this is a space for straight, white men. Thus, impostor syndrome continues to pervade the CIT, turning away the very people that would enhance the achievements and beauty of Brown CS. That is why I am both honored and ashamed to accept this nomination, both proud of the incredible people trying to make a positive difference and guilty to be part of a community that continues to fail so many."
Most likely to get carded at 30: Matt Robins
“I was talking to this guy I just met and he asked if I was in school. I told him I just graduated. He asks me from what high school?”
Most likely to be late for a Zoom lecture: Bailey Driscoll
Most likely to ask out their TA: David Oyeka
Most likely to become Tik Tok famous: Michael Gold
“Firstly, I'd need to thank my concussion that happened the same day I downloaded Tik Tok in September. Sitting concussed for days watching Tik Tok truly rewired my brain and has led to my weekly average of 12 hours on that godforsaken app. I have yet to post video but lmk if anyone is actually Tik Tok famous and wants to link.”
Most likely to sleep through virtual commencement: Katherine Brady
Best Couple: Ijahala Pottinger and Ezemdi Akalonu
"One of my favorite memories is the story of how we met. It was the night of the First Year Ice Cream Social, and a mutual friend introduced us. My first impression of Ezemdi was that he was (and still is!) very cute and super chill, and I immediately knew that he is someone I want to know forever. The vibes were immaculate to say the least. As we ate our ice cream and got to know each other a bit, we planned to meet up the next day at the First Year Festival. In an attempt to be cute and flirty at the festival, I challenged Ezemdi to a game of mini basketball. He bodied me with the quickness! Although my ego was bruised, I liked that he didn’t let me win and I was happy to meet a friend as competitive as I am. After basketball, Ezemdi joined the limbo competition. I remember laughing in my head at this tall, slender guy trying to cram himself under the super low limbo bar. At first, I thought he looked silly and not gonna lie, I was slightly embarrassed! But, I quickly realized that I loved his energy and confidence to be his true self instead of doing what others might deem “cool." Three years later, Ezemdi still inspires me every day to own my story and exude the level of confidence that a 6 foot man moves through the world with. Ezemdi is unapologetically himself and I will always love and admire him for that. I am so grateful for my college experience, and I am blessed to have met such a wonderful person like Ezemdi at Brown!" - Ijahala
"To say that Ijahala is one of the most incredible people I have ever encountered would be an understatement. Meeting her has been one of the defining moments of my time at Brown, and my life as a whole. One of the things about Ijahala that I will always admire is how unafraid she is of going outside of what she knows and trying new things. This manifests in all aspects of her life, from small things like ordering something new each time at restaurants to making life changing plans with confident decisiveness. She always pushes me to do the same and step outside of my comfort zone, even though I’m usually reluctant to. One memory that always sticks out in my mind is our first date. I mustered up the confidence to ask her out while walking down the Pembroke steps, knees shaking and all. After a couple of seconds that felt like hours, I got a reply that I did not expect: “okay, but if you don’t order something new, I’m not coming.” She then insisted on ordering for me to assure that I’d try something new (she ended up ordering me a lobster dish that I lowkey hated but ate anyway ). At the end of the night, she once again pushed me outside of my comfort zone by asking me why I asked her out in the first place. It was then that I nervously told her I had feelings for her and wanted to be with her, and watched her smile so hard that she could barely say yes. From that moment on, I knew that we would be great for each other and that she was somebody who would always bring the best out of me, because she does for herself. Ijahala is one of those people who everyone knows is destined for greatness. I’m so honored to be in her life and I cannot wait to see her achieve everything she plans to and more, making us all better along the way." - Ezemdi
Best couple that never was: David Oyeka and Jordana Siegel
“People probably voted for David Oyeka & Jordana Siegel because they have been hooking up since freshman year, but have managed to remain best friends despite societal pressures to marry.”
Best Friends: Yael Braverman and Julia Ostrowski
We’d like to thank…
1. Our fabulous friends and the general public for putting up with our antics,
2. Asher for capturing this moment of us watching 30 rock in jos when we were tired of partying but still wanted the option to people watch,
3. OWC for bringing us together through our shared inability to complete the amazing race,
4. And last but not least, everyone who mistook us over the last 4 years
…for making this possible
