Dealing with homesickness as a freshman

I’d be lying if I said freshman year has been filled with rainbows and puppies. I’d also be lying if I said freshman year has brought nothing but depression and anxiety. It hasn’t been a homogenous mixture of both, more like a chunky stew with unequally distributed bouts of one or the other. 

When I first came here, homesickness wasn’t a problem. There were new faces to be seen, new events to be attended, new parties to be EMS’ed at. Brown was a whole world to be explored and distractions that would take my mind off of home. In fact, I was glad to be away. The town I had lived for all of my life was hard to escape; so many people who came from there stayed there, and I knew that as much as I loved home, I had to leave or else I would get too comfortable. 

Brown provided me that change of scene I needed, but everyone experiences homesickness at some point. For me, as Thanksgiving approaches and so many of my friends return to the place they call home, I can’t help but long for that familiarity as well. 

It’s tough being a freshman. It’s tough being on your own and establishing a whole new community. Especially when finals season approaches and stress builds, I find myself missing home more and more, even as someone who has been relatively nonchalant about being away from home. But, I think I’ve found some ways to ease the feeling of homesickness.

1. Treat it like a long-distance relationship

Homesickness is a long-distance relationship with, well, home. Just like any long-distance relationship, you call and you text, making sure that everything at home or with home is okay. You devote your time to actively think about home, but at the same time, you shouldn’t be so caught up with the idea of not being there. Rather, focus your attention on how home will always be there for you, that you will be there soon enough. Missing home has dampened my mood a fair bit, sure, but there’s always a positive twist to think about, like remembering the way your mom used to make your favorite food for you and how that dish will be waiting there for you in one month. 

2. Immerse yourself

Don’t reject those parties, those hangouts, because you feel like staying in and sulking instead. It might be hard to get out of bed and go somewhere outside of your dorm room at times, but if you find the right company, you won’t regret it. Having people hype me up has been one of the most effective ways of remembering that I have people who care about me here, that my community is slowly building outside of home. 

Maybe you aren’t a partier. Socializing does take away a lot of energy. Start a new show! Netflix and chill by yourself, cozied up. Distract yourself by immersing into something that you can enjoy. Release those endorphins! (Maybe even immerse yourself in Blog articles). 

3. Make it feel like home

It might be easier to distract yourself by starting a new home here. The easiest way? Decorating your dorm room. My room was barren for the longest time, and then I started to hang up pictures, posters, banners. I placed the stuffed animal I brought from home on the corner of my bed, and it started to feel more naturally comfortable. Of course, a few months here is nothing compared to your whole life back home, but there’s a sense of peace in organizing, in decorating, that I find reassuring. I have a picture hanging over my bed of home, and sometimes, that poster brings me a sense of longing. But, it has also served as motivation, to get through this one month and then, finally, I’ll get to be THERE. 

We can have more than one home. That’s what Brown’s application essay was about (“Tell us about the place, or places, you call home”). It’ll take time, but humans are made to adapt. Change will happen! We will be alright!

(Yes, I did say to treat homesickness like a long-distance relationship, but this relationship happens to be polyamorous, okay? Your home will be okay with a sideho(m)e.)

4. Remember that you’re not alone

As alone as you might feel, don’t forget that you are experiencing the same thing that a big chunk of the student body here are also going through. Find solace in that (yes, misery loves company). Be reassured that you can get through this with the support of thousands who relate to your situation, and realize that if they can do it, so can you. 

Go eat Thanksgiving dinner at the Ratty! Attend those events! And enjoy break in its fullest before finals knock you back down. 

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