Do You Have Reverse Imposter Syndrome?

Last night, I went to my very funny friend Semi Oloko’s standup show (you’re welcome, Semi, for the free publicity!) that she did as part of Brown-RISD Stand Up. It was hilarious and Semi is so talented! However, I struggle with a particular problem in relation to attending my friends’ performances. You see, I have no performance talents to speak of. I am not a singer, nor am I a dancer. I have no acting training or prowess, and I have no background in stand-up or improv. However, every time that I attend a friend’s show or concert (and this has been happening a lot lately), I leave with two thoughts on my mind: 1) wow, (fill in the blank friend) is so talented! 2) should I probably also be doing stand-up?

I don’t want it to seem like I am some kind of over-the-top, self-aggrandizing nightmare. I’m totally not. However, I have diagnosed myself with something I’ve coined to be “reverse-imposter syndrome.” In my estimation, this affliction renders me perhaps a tad bit too aspirational after viewing my friends’ impressive creative pursuits. As I leave each show, awash with inspiration at my friends’ amazing capabilities, I walk out onto the night and think self assuredly, yes, I should be doing this, too.

I tried to describe this sensation to Semi the other day, and she asked me bluntly, “Oh, so you mean you just have a massive ego?” Of course, this is just an oversimplification of my situation! I don’t think my particular experience has to do with thinking I can excel at any task before me (my attempts at a physics class has proven this not to be the case). But, the true problem with having performative friends is that I get to see how much fun they’re having! And everyone claps for them at the end and maybe they even get bouquets! And who doesn’t want more bouquets? 

If you, like me, suspect you may have been infected with this nefarious disease, consider knocking yourself down a peg by reminiscing on all of the humiliating experiences you’ve had in any performative environment. Personally, I dial into the time I forgot my lines during my fifth grade dress rehearsal of The Lion King, in which I played Iago, an evil parrot sidekick. Any slight sniff of embarrassment will be sure to keep you in your place!

Alternatively, you can ask your performative friends about the actual work that goes into gaining the glory. Sure, taking some bows at the end of a dalliance with Shakespeare may seem cool, but look into the prep that goes into it (lines of weird oldish English, learning Shakespeare theory and history, etc) and you’ll find a way to hold yourself back.

Of course, if you can’t bear to heed my warnings and you really want to try your hand at performance, go for it! You’ll learn the error of your ways once you bomb your first set and decide (rightfully) to never try again!

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