Perkins Travel: Diamond Platinum Medallion Status
The essential truth about living in Perkins isn't the walk, or the very strange engravings on the side of the building, or the weird heating system that sounds like a very small man with a very small baseball bat is going to town inside my radiator. It's that I'm always trying to find the most efficient way from where I am back to my dorm. So, Perkins People, consider this your guide on getting places a tiny bit quicker. If you don't live in Perkins, might it still be fun to read about me trying to shave seconds off my life by walk-running all the routes to Fox Point? I don't know. In any case, prepare for some hard-hitting journalism.
The scenario: It's a lazy Sunday. You are trying to get some work done, but you also have to eat. Which status will you be?
Clueless status: If you're going for that real newbie vibe, make sure you walk up Power St. past Jo's, take a right, walk past the old Watson, take a left on George Street, and go in the front of the Ratty. When you're done your meal, meander down George St. to the Rock and watch Netflix for a while. When you're done that, walk all the way back down George Street, take a right on Hope, and end up at Perkins whenever you get there.
Frequent flyer status: Walk down Power St. purposefully toward Jo's, cut through the New Dorm courtyard like you know exactly what you're doing, take it up to a walk-run as you approach the New Watson, and cut through the back of Patriot's Court as you approach the blessed Ratty. When you're done your quick breakfast/lunch, cut straight to the Rock, doing a few brain warm-ups. When you're done Grinding™, walk down George St. contemplating your productivity, cut through the back of the New Watson, and prepare for a final sprint back home.
Medallion status: Walk at an inhuman pace up Power Street, cut through New Dorm courtyard, jumping the low wall for extra time savings, cut through Patriot's Court, take a to-go box from the Ratty, then run down George St. Have a Yerba Mate at the Rock, and when you're done studying, shuttle back as you write a few section posts.
Diamond Platinum Medallion Status: I just attained this status by discovering, one full year into being at Brown, the Brown Shuttle (Evening Counterclockwise Route). Download the TransLoc Rider App and immediately feel like your limo awaits you all all times. Happy riding.
Images via Paul Michaud '22.