ANT BATTLE
Preface: This is sort of a gross post. I didn't have fun writing it, which should tell you something about how reading it will go. However, there's a link to a very cute video about a dog who wears goggles if you make it all the way through,. So, maybe stick with me?If you're a religious reader of Blog and have somehow noticed my absence these past few weeks, you can blame two things; first, there's homework, but that's a lame excuse. More importantly, you can blame the ants which have invaded my room, with whom I've been fighting an extended ant battle. To excuse my absence, I've provided diligent documentation of our continued war.The ants have always been sort of a presence in Jameson [ROOM NUMBER REDACTED]. In the fall, a few of them could be seen on the floor if it was especially warm out or if I had dropped some crumbs. Mostly they were harmless, tiny things, easily swept into a dustpan and disposed of. Life, truly, was simple back then.Winter, with its freezing temperatures, brought glorious relief from the ants, who then refused to show up even when there was food on my desk. Perhaps, they were all hibernating. Maybe, they had died. (Aside: if anyone actually knows where ants go in the winter, please comment on this and tell me. I've become very curious about ants.)Then, spring came, as it always does. That's when things got interesting fun gross. The ants returned, this time in full force. There were even some larger ants mixed in with the increasing number of small ones. I'm going to stop writing specifically about the ants now because it's incredibly gross. Just reflecting on it, I feel as if one is crawling on my leg. Instead, I'll walk you through the steps I took to try to get rid of them. 
I think this is their hideout.
Sweep.This is what people call a "temporary solution to a permanent problem." Although it's nice to see your floor clean and free of things that move around on it, the question is where to put the ants afterward. Hint: it's not in the trash room. That's called "perpetuating the cycle." Ignore.Yeah, this isn't really an option. In my darker moments, I did find myself avoiding the gaze of the floor as if to keep the ants in a sort of Schrödinger's-cat dilemma. Are they there? I wouldn't know. Philosophize.Why have they come for me? Is it because I live in the basement? Is it because I wronged their forebears? Is it because they know that they're driving me crazy? Do they secretly crave attention? Adapt.For me, this meant making sure any food I had was inside two separate containers—e.g. inside a bag that was inside a drawer, let's say. Also, it meant that I did heavy research on ants which I would not recommend. Solution???If this were a happy story, this part would be where I'd put the solution to the ant problem. Yet, unless I buy traps, which would force me to confront the problem, this ant battle will continue for a long time or, at the very least, for another three weeks. Please comment with suggestions if you have them. Please. Here's the promised link. If you made it this far, you're a champion. Thank you. Images via and via Paul Michaud '22.
