How to Navigate the Woes of Summer Internship Season

So here we are. Approximately T-1 month until the end of the school year, and you may or may not know what you’re doing this summer. And by “doing this summer,” you and I both know I don’t mean going to the beach, or watching TV, or catching up on some good reads. We both know what people mean when they smile coyly and ask, “Oh, and where will you be this summer, again?” You may even be desperately crafting cover letters with every spare second, or just trying to find something (anything!) to hit your inbox with some good news. Well, until Google gets back to you, here are some ways to handle that overwhelming sense of self doubt and stress in the meantime!First off, if anyone tries to slyly inquire as to your whereabouts for the next few months, just pretend not to hear them. That’s my favorite tactic. It may help if you have an established history of bad hearing, so it’s perhaps best to start laying the foundation for that ASAP. If someone perceives you as generally hard-of-hearing, they’ll probably give up when you haven’t answered their fifth inquiry regarding your future employment.Next, if you’re forced to engage with one of these nosy suckers, just keep things super vague. If they hit you with questions regarding your upcoming employment status, perhaps snap back with, “Sorry, but my work is highly confidential. I don’t think you have the security clearance to be informed. I can contact my handler and get back to you.” Maybe drop that you’re assisting someone special and mysterious, like Robert Mueller or the ever-elusive Richard Simmons.If that doesn’t work, try taking the moral high ground. Suggest that you’re not interested in engaging in the corporate rat race, and instead shall be taking very concrete steps to achieve world peace, to end world hunger, or to achieve nirvana. You’re simply a more enlightened being, and material goods have no interest to you.As a last resort, suggest you’re going out on your own and starting a groundbreaking new company, à la Elizabeth Holmes. You’re going to revolutionize the healthcare industry! You’re going to change the world for the better, and make billions doing it. Sure, you’re vague on the exact plan, but if you refer to yourself as “the next Steve Jobs” with enough conviction, people are sure to buy it.Good luck in the harrowing days ahead. Internship season is not for the faint of heart! And if you're worried about getting a job after graduation, even I can't help you there. Images via and via.