The 6 people you'll find at a college info session

As a transfer student to Brown, I have had the great privilege of attending not one, but two rounds of college tours. And during this time, I’ve learned that there are certain people who seem to pop up wherever you go. Whether you’re a prospective college student, touring schools to get a ~feel~ of what the kids are like, or a transfer looking to start somewhere new, here is a head-up to people you are guaranteed to see when you, too, tour Brown. Zack “What’s Your ACT Score” JohnsonWhen the first opportunity arises for a Q and A during the info session, Zack’s hand shoots up. He makes direct eye contact with the dean and asks, without flinching, “If I have a super score of 35 on the ACT, can I join the Herald?” Poor Zack. Zack knows that joining the Herald has nothing to do with his ACT score, but is too naive to find a subtler way of working his smarts into the conversation. Delilah “My Mom Made Me Ask Questions” BrennerDelilah is sitting in the front row as her mother scribbles down notes on a notepad. (Ms. Brenner has yet to realize that all the information being shared is available in this magical place called “Google.”) When the floor is opened to questions, Ms. Brenner elbows Delilah a little too hard in the stomach. Her hand immediately shoots up and she asks, “Are there clubs I can join?” Ah, Delilah, your mother is proud of you. This brilliant question will surely show the dean that you are a smart, inquisitive girl and she’ll remember your red little face when she sees your name on an application. Sam “I’m Not In High School” GoldmanPoor Sam is an unhappy college freshman. He’s sick of the core curriculum at the Institute of Bathroom Designs and thought that the open curriculum at Brown might suit him a little better. But as soon as he walks into the info session, he remembers how much he dreads re-opening the common app, walking into a room of juniors comparing how many APs they take (with a small group claiming they are above that nonsense because they’re IB), and seeing what “a real college dorm!” looks like yet again.  Tom “I’m From Outside the City” AlexanderWhen introducing himself to his future classmates, Tom says oh-so-casually, “I’m from outside of the city.” New York? Boston? L.A.? He leaves that to the imagination. But we know that this possible Westchester N.Y./Newton M.A./Redondo Beach resident will find many others who, too, are from “outside the city.” Charlotte “My Dad Went Here” BergWhen the tour begins, Mr. Berg walks right up to the tour guide and asks, “You guys still cheering for the ‘76 Bears? They were a legendary team! Just swept the Ivy away with that run-tackle-throw kick combo.” The tour guide, like most of the Brown population, doesn’t watch sports, so he just smiles and nods. “You know, Char Char,” he says, loudly enough that the whole group can hear, “I remember when I lived in Goddard. I’d bring your mother back here after the tailgate with the boys and...well...the rest is history!”  Anna “My Mom is Concerned With the Alcohol-Weed-Drugs Ratio” SilverAfter the tour, Ms. Silver waits until the crowd disperses before she approaches the tour guide and asks, in a hushed voice, “So I’m just trying to get a feel. Is this more of a druggy school or a drinking school? Do the kids do coke or do they stick to just weed? I’m okay with weed, y’know I’m a cool mom and it’s legal back where we live, but anything past that I just don’t really want little Anna to be pressured into that, y’know?” The tour guide smiles, whips out a j, and lights up, explaining that it’s more of a weed school but really whatever you’re chill with, we’re chill here at Brown.  If you shamefully realize that you may be one of these people, that’s okay! Strut into that info session with your head held high and own it. After all, it wouldn’t be a real college tour without you. Image via.