Friend Appreciation 0100

Life post-daylight savings time is rough. Somehow, all of the inconveniences, pains, and general bummers of the day-to-day seem amplified by the misallocation of sunlight. This massive middle-finger from Benjamin Franklin (the son of a gun that came up with the DST concept) coincides with a heap of other bummer-y* events, such as the never-ending midterm continuum, cold weather, disappointing political spectacles, increased existentiality, impending holidays, impending snow, impending endterms (is that what the last midterm is called? I’m new here and trying to learn as I go), and basically anything else that you can put “impending” in front of. But in the midst of this dispiriting hustle stands a beacon of hope: your friends, the wholesome bunch of people that put up with you and like you almost-unconditionally (minor conditions do exist). Like any good motivational poster will tell you, friendship is a powerful thing. It’s important to have people to gripe to and to laugh with, people who will tell it to you straight while also sprinkling in some comforting white lies, and people who just warm your heart when you’re around them. When you’re being screwed over by the third-best Franklin (Aretha and the turtle are ranked higher), these are the folks that make you forget that it’s pitch black outside before dinner. Emotions are a tricky beast to express. I’m 19 and still haven’t figured out how to tell my mom that I don’t like her chicken casserole, a dish that has plagued me since I began eating solid foods. So how am I, a dunce when it comes to communication, supposed to verbalize my appreciation for some of the best people I’ve ever met? In light of the giving thanks season, here are some solid ways to show your friends that you really love them.

• Ask how their day is/listen. This one seems simple, but it’s always nice to have someone remember little things about your day and then ask about them. This is kind of the bare minimum you can do, but it really does feel nice to know that you were heard and people care. Listening also can stretch to the dreaded conversation of dreams. For some reason, people really like sharing the absurd thing they dreamt last night. For a very reasonable reason, most people don’t like listening to said dreams. To show your appreciation for your friends, buck up and suffer through the two minute REM-recap and subsequent dream analysis.

• General Harassment. Whether it’s through a lobbed snowball or a bit of light-hearted bullying, family-styled teasing is a somewhat-effective vehicle for your appreciation.

• Say “I’m really glad that I met you guys.” This one is reserved for the very bold. If you’re so compelled by the holiday season, you can even swap out “glad” for “thankful,” the connotation of which is even bolder. Before letting this one slip, make sure that you all are on the same page of actually liking each other.

• Get omelette orders in their name and tape them to their door. This method lets your friends know that you think they’re a good egg to such a degree that you literally can no longer separate the idea of eggs and them.

 

• Bring them Rat Snacks. Sometimes there’s nothing nicer than a takeout box full of kiwis and Cajun Apple Cake from the beloved Sharpe Refectory desert table. Other ways to communicate your thankfulness for your friends through food include sharing takeout from Jo’s, Blue Room muffins, pizza swiped from a CareerLab event, or, perhaps the nicest of all, snacks mailed from home.

• Check up on their general health and well-being. As college students, we no longer have anyone that’s morally, legally, or biologically obligated to worry about how we’re treating ourselves. As such, sometimes people forget to eat, shower, sleep, or anything else that is a necessary element to base-level functioning. When you notice that one of your friends is slipping a bit, reach out. 

 

• Send them a cartoon. Depending on the type of friend, send them either a New Yorker or a classic Calvin and Hobbes comic. If you're feeling especially thankful, go for both.

• Go to the Stupid Thing that they really want to go to. Every now and then try to go to one of the So Amazingly Boring I’d Rather Eat A Worm presentations that your friend is excited about. You might hate it, but you like them, so it’s fine. Do you really think your mom wanted to watch Barbie Rapunzel twice a day for over two years? This is like that, but even less of a sacrifice.

• Brew tea and/or brewskis. In the spirit of giving your friends food, handing them a wholesome mug of Bigelow or a can of Bud Lite during an especially stressful study sesh is a great way to show your thankfulness for their existence.

• Give them a hug. Hugs are scientifically proven to boost your mood. As long as you know that your friends are comfortable with this type of contact, a consensual hug is a great way to say that you love them without making things weird.

• Cry when you think about how great they are but never tell them about it. Also out of fear of making things weird, don’t tell them that you cried about them, but do get a good cry in every now and then. The vibes of appreciation are sure to still extend to their heart, even if they don’t know why.

But, ultimately, the best thing about good friends is that you don’t need to ever tell them directly how you feel. There’s a mutual understanding that bypasses any need for verbalization. However, highlighting your appreciation for the people that mean a lot to you is nice (like, super nice), and I hope that this mini-guide comes in handy. *the degree of bummer-yness of each of these singularities differs by person. Some, like the cold, could be very not bummer-y, while others, like the threat of existentiality, could be especially bummer-y. I don’t want to burst any bubbles, but the Brown student population is not homogenous in their likes and dislikes, nor in their degree of bummed. Note from the author: Seasonal depression is a real and serious thing. If you're struggling, please reach out to someone. If you suspect that someone you know is struggling, please reach out to them.Images via, via, and via Deborah Marini '22.