Your Halloween Costume Approval Matrix
Despite the fact that Halloween is next Wednesday, the verdict is in: Halloweekend starts this Friday. Hit these parties in your best costumes and prepare to be judged, Blog style:1. C-Pax's dead poodleEven though one of C-Pax's famed poodles apparently died a few months ago, we just recently learned of his passing. While Blog feels that dressing up as the ghost of this much-beloved campus fixture would be hilarious... is it too soon?2. "The Rodent" Okay, so "The Rodent" is kind of a thing. Make this as sexy or gross as you want. Either way, people will get it. Bonus points if you go with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and/ or "The Stone".3. Sexy SafewalkSexualizing these guys makes us all feel a little uncomfortable. But it is the perfect excuse to go shirtless under a neon vest.4. Meme costumeMost of these are overdone, and all of them will require you to walk around with large chunks of writing taped to your chest. Lame, lame, lame.5. Pun-themed costumesI mean, we go to Brown for a reason. Who doesn't love a little wordplay?
6. Group costumesYou're either an insecure freshman, or a senior with too many friends. These can look good, but only if everyone puts in the same amount of effort.7. The ghost of Brown AthleticsSince the BDH proclaimed Brown Athletics dead this week, going as the ghost of Brown Athletics would be spooky, topical and a little controversial -- exactly what you what from a Halloween costume. Bonus points if you dress up as one of the equestrian team's dead horses. Bonus bonus points if you lecture everyone you meet about satire-writing and University funds while bouncing a basketball on top of your head.8. Pun-themed costumes that no-one getsIs there anything more em-pear-assing?
9. Halloween classics (vampire, sexy cat, Harry Potter, lifeguard, etc.)They're a little boring, but they get the job done. Every Halloween party needs at least 60% standard costumes to give the creative people the chance to shine.10. Brett KavanaughJust tasteless.11. Onesies/ face paint/ masksYou put in a lot of effort, which is good, but let's be honest. You look kind of creepy and no one is going to hook up with you.12. Sports jerseysSomeone will probably hook up with you, but this "costume" is lazy and you know it.13. Any female politician reminding you to voteLike Wonder Woman, but with less spandex and more pantsuits.14. Meghan Markle and/ or Prince Harry A Royal Wedding costume is just an excuse for every couple you know to flaunt their relationship status in your face. To fuck with these people, ask them if they are supposed to be Kate Middleton and/ or Prince William.15. BluenoBlue-NO. It's overdone and I hate watching people dressed in blue run around carrying lamps on their heads. Sorry, Jill! Your other costume ideas are fire. PS, don't forget to check out this article on the important topic of cultural appropriation this Halloween.Images via Ebba Brunnstrom '19 and via.