The Types of Parents I met at Family Weekend

Going through parent’s weekend alone led to a lot of me time, but more importantly, it led to a lot of time with my friend's parents. Walking down Thayer Street became a danger zone for meeting new people, and I’m not saying that figuratively. I may or may not have almost gotten hit by a car trying to cross the street to say hello to a friend’s parents. Despite these perils, meeting my friends’ parents provided me with great context as to what my friends have been dealing with for the past 18 years. Below, find a list of exactly what types of parents I met. I’ll leave it to you to imagine what types of kids each of these parents created.

1. The Hippie

This type of parent is absolutely my favorite. They will wow you with their weird hats and quirky glasses. This parent is probably more interested in the lectures going on around campus then their child’s well being. Of course, they’ll make sure to provide a fresh load from a Whole Foods run, but after that they’ll be off dining with their own friends at some new restaurant downtown. They love their kid, but they love their newfound freedom more.2. The Hip OneNot to be confused with the Hippe. These parents are down with party culture. They probably bought some alcohol for the dorm while they were down here. They likely crashed a pregame or two and had flashbacks to their college (glory) years. When you’re listening to a conversation between this parent and their kid, the kid will most likely directly talk to their parent about some party they’re going to. It will shock you. Then the parent will respond as if this type of conversation is allowed. At this point, you’ll realize it’s okay to breathe again.3. The Best FriendSome kids are too close to their parents. This parent is the one who openly embraces and loves that connection. Family Weekend has been on the schedule since their student got their acceptance letter. Every moment of the weekend is spent “hanging out” and “catching up”. Their child probably sleeps over at their hotel or, alternatively, there’s a big family sleepover in their dorm room. You probably wondered how this parent could even miss their kid since they call every single day. Family Weekend makes you realize that, at least for this style of parent, there is no such thing as close enough.4. The Stylish OneThis parent enters the room looking like the senior year version of their child. Scratch that, senior year version of their child plus all the additions that maturity and money provide. Nice suit or an elegant dress, shoes that haven’t had to endure the mud of ANOCH, and a watch that makes you realize why people wear watches (it’s a sophistication thing). This parent insults their kid about their outfit choices, but in a loving way. When you meet them, they’ll shake your hand, but look you up and down and know their child could do better.5. The FleerMaybe this parent bought their kid dinner Friday, but that was the end of that. This parent had a strategy coming into the weekend. Ultimately, their student will end up in charge of the younger siblings in order to “show them the real world” of college. Yeah, those siblings will most likely end up waiting to be picked up to go to the hotel by midnight, but the parents will feel good about the family bonding that occurred. After that, Family Weekend becomes their chance to meet up with the parents of that other kid from your high school who goes here.6. The ???Absolute wildcard. There are no words to define this category since there are no words to describe these parents. These are the parents who make you do a double take between them and their kid. Honestly, you can’t even be sure if this is their kid. Not necessarily as a matter of looks, but more so as a matter of fundamental difference. Most of your interactions meeting parents will help to contextualize your friends in a larger picture, but these parents will only further the mystery. Honestly, they’ll make you realize that even after months or years with these people, you’ve barely scratched the surface. Hopefully, this list can provide some navigation to the shock of seeing so many ~real~ adults on campus. And if by chance, you missed meeting your friends’ parents this Family Weekend, this list is an equally effective starting point to guess what type of people spawned your classmates! No matter which side of the nature vs. nurture debate you’re on, keep in mind that every person has their own backstory. While it may be fun to glimpse them, it’s equally as important to engage with the fuller picture of the people that matter most to you, on campus and beyond. Images via, via, and via