The 5 best ways to kill time while your clothes are in the wash, ranked
Living directly next to the laundry room in Jameson has its advantages: I don’t have to carry my clothes very far to wash them, for example, and my room is probably going to be thermoregulated all winter thanks to the unbelievably hot dryers that sit just on the other side of my wall. All this almost makes up for the fact that my dug-out basement windows are situated five feet below the street and cause the sunlight to stop coming into my room at approximately three in the afternoon.One advantage rises above the rest, though: I consider myself blessed to know more than almost anyone about the various ways you can kill time while your clothes are being incinerated by the dryer. So here they are, ranked and annotated: 
Spoiler alert: A lot of them are broken.
#5: Sit in the adjoining room and do homework.This option is perfectly respectable, especially if you live far away. The aforementioned Hell-like temperature of the dryers will keep you nice and warm while you read the 100 pages of Roman History you’ve been assigned. Plus, you can leave your clothes in the machine far past when they're done and then gauge people’s reactions. They’ll take sudden steps towards your clothes and then back away, fretting the whole time about how long they should wait. Should they just take your clothes out quickly and hope you don't notice? Should they come back later? Should they write a note? You’ll be laughing the whole time. 
This is the right way to do things.
#4: Practice your instrument.I saw someone doing this once. It’s a brilliant idea: You’ll entertain the four people busy trying to figure out how to put the lint protector back in the machine, plus you’ll get some practice in. Seriously, whoever was playing the flute in the laundry room while I was there, you’re welcome to come back any time. #3: Go take a shower. Everything about you and your belongings will be clean at once! The concept definitely has a certain appeal. In the shower, you’ll think about how lonely your favorite pair of pants have been, sitting in the bottom of your hamper all week, and how you're so close to being able to wear them again! You'll come out of the shower ready to face the day, but soon you'll realize you put your towel in the wash. Shit. 
This is the WORST.
#2: Read all the posters in the laundry room.Seriously, some of these are hilarious. 
"Please avoid laundering items containing cooking oil, foam rubber, gasoline..."
#1: Go back to your room.The tried and true method. You’ll take a nap, maybe, or watch some Netflix. A friend will come by to chat. You guys will go out for dinner at the Ivy Room, then maybe go down Thayer in search of a food truck that sells dessert and doesn’t look too sketchy. It’ll be the perfect Brown night—until you realize your clothes have been in the washer for four hours. You’ll return apologetically to the Jameson basement, where there is now a line of 45 freshmen waiting for your dryer. Here’s where you walk away—there’s no way those clothes are yours. [Disclaimer: The author would like to emphasize that it is a part of living in community to set a timer while doing laundry. We can all laugh at #1, but it's not funny. It really isn't.] 
A helpful PSA.
Images via and by Paul Michaud '22.