Dorm Chemistry: Home-Grown Alcohol

I’ve never been much of the party type or the fake ID type. Blessed and cursed with an incredibly young-looking face, I would never, ever pass for being over 21 years old. But I have always been a curious scientist.A couple weeks ago, I decided to embark on a journey. A journey to acquire alcohol by (possibly) legal means. I made my own alcohol, and it only took 50 hours, a fifteen-minute walk to Whole Foods, and $10. If you play your cards right, you might not even have to go to Whole Foods (cough cough, V-Dub or Ratty)!At first, I was a little worried that someone might walk into the communal kitchen. Of course, the sight of someone chucking badly burnt toast into a pot of boiling water is likely to raise a couple eyebrows. But thankfully, unlike beer or moonshine, the word “kvass” is foreign to nearly everyone here.For the next two days, I nursed my jar of bread tea and yeast in a "borrowed" mixing bowl, filling the bowl with warm water and submerging my baby in it every couple of hours (kudos to the Brown’s Got Talent team for providing the mason jar). Little bubbles rose to the top of the mixture, confirming that the yeast inside were quite delighted. And I, too, was quite delighted. Years of chemistry and biology classes had led up to this moment. Finally, anaerobic respiration was at work in front of me in a more...ah...useful way, not just in a tiny tube in a classroom full of confused high school students. When I finally cracked open the jar, a scent similar to that of beer wafted through the air. A tiny wave of alcohol tickled my nose. Success. According to the noses of my trusted acquaintances, the smell reminded them of apple cider. Considering the fact that exactly zero apples were used in this recipe, I was thoroughly impressed with my newfound home brewing skills (or recipe-following skills -- you choose.)A series of taste tests revealed that this was essentially a non-carbonated light beer. My tastebuds and my taste-buds actually quite enjoyed the lack of carbonation (possibly because of the potential for easy chugging). Because this process uses yeast to produce alcohol directly, once the alcohol concentration gets to a certain point, the yeast actually dies. You end up with a concoction that’s probably not even as alcoholic as your store-bought beer, so you don’t have to worry about getting drunk off of this.But the tale of fermenting kvass in my dorm room doesn’t end here. With apple-picking season in full play, there’s potential for some more...experimentation. If kvass made without apples can taste like apple cider, what would a little extra flavoring do? It is peak apple-picking season. So if you're also a student desperate for alcohol, bored, or looking for ways to make new friends, you can definitely just make your own alcohol! If it doesn’t come out properly, don’t worry! You don’t even have to drink it! Just make sure to give absolutely zero fucks when people in the communal kitchen glare at you for burning toast and stealing the one mixing bowl!Want to make your own kvass? Click here.Images via The Blognonian and via.