Blognonian and CCB Present: Senior Superlative Results 2018
It's already that time! Blog and CCB are proud to present yall's 2018 superlatives (in no particular order).***
Most Likely to Come Back for Binder: Jacob Binder
After first hearing Dave Binder during his freshman-year Spring Weekend, Jacob was so moved by Binder’s sweet vocal stylings and repertoire of profound, poignant songs that he legally changed his last name. Jacob Binder now plans on continuing his support for his fellow Binders well after graduating from Brown. He is also a big fan of Károly Binder, Hungarian jazz pianist, and soccer player Stefan Binder.
Most Likely to Take Down Corporate America: Malik JarvisAs someone who plans to work at a corporation next year, Malik is shocked but also incredibly honored to be winning this superlative. He wants to dedicate this award to the FLI community, especially for those who feel the immense pull of wanting to take down corporations but also the very valid financial pressure to seek income and professional security. He is there with you in navigating the complexities of #sellingout, and rooting for you as you use those resources to change the corporations from within or at least bring those resources back to the communities you come from. And for his haters, Malik wants you to know not to come for him, but for your corporate parents and upper-middle class upbringing that affords you the security to become a white savior/gentrifier and sit in judgment of those trying to make ends meet.
Social Media Royalty: Nikki LeeNikki Lee is a fat black girl from Rural White People Central, New York, where she learned to utilize humor to cope with existing in hostile, oppressive spaces. She also had a lot of unsupervised time on the internet as a child. Furthermore, she loves to end her days by laying in bed and looking at memes. With those three things together, she has developed the fine skill of figuring out how to make people laugh, particularly on the internet where her Social Anxiety Disorder™ is easier to work around. She’s very proud to have curated an online presence that makes other people laugh and makes them happy. She would like to thank Fiona the Hippo, the Facebook @ feature, and all of the weird ass Facebook groups she’s a part of that provide amazing content. And of course, she’s the most thankful for all the people who have given her the honor of this superlative – as meaningless as it might be, sometimes it really is the little things. If you wanna keep up with Nikki... insta: feelthisnight, facebook: Nikki Lee, snapchat: lovingarm (best content is here). Much love. We out here.
Best Smile: Ameyo AttilaLaugh and the whole world laughs with you; weep and you weep surrounded by suspicious glares in the AQR. Sorry about that...
Most Likely to Start the Next Facebook: Valentin PerezIf you've ever been to Cancun for Spring Break, you've been where Valentin grew up. One of the very few seniors still thriving at the Ratty, Valentin loves a good talk and meeting new people. You may have seen him skating down Thayer, at the hotel CIT, shopping classes, or even down at RISD. He hopes to start something better and nicer than Facebook.
Most Likely to Be in a Meeting: Chelse Steele
Hey y'all,
Welcome to senior week! My name is Chelse and I'm your Undergraduate Student Body president this year. Ya girl Chelse is about to bounceee but before I do I just wanted to give a few more campus-wide updates.
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- Sign up to be on the Hoegaarden Student Advisory Committee
- As a reminder, the blue room starts taking credits at 4 pm and folks are still out here hungry. Swipe zaddys assemble.
- If anybody knows where the secret hallway at the Rock is, lmk.
iiight, cool I think that's it, I gotta go bc I'm running about 2-3 minutes late for a meeting. See y'all at the next Hoegaarden function!
*sent from my iphone, please excuse any typos*
Most Likely to Give a Highly Watched TED Talk: Adam Vieira
Innovation. Impact. Synergy. Collaboration. Synergy. (Wait, did we already say synergy?) These are all some of Adam’s favorite words. Adam is honored to receive this superlative, mainly because he has started over 90% of his conversations at Brown by telling people to watch the Mushroom Burial Suit TED Talk. (Seriously, it’s wild.) Frankly, this award is the greatest thing to happen to Adam since Vivi popcorn chicken.
*Pause for the camera to pan across the audience, capturing hundreds of engaged faces*Adam is already working on a few TED Talk concepts, including: being first-gen in the Ivy League, the sociopolitical implications of Lunchables, and the legacy of the New York City Garage Rock Revival of 2000-2001. Adam hopes to someday bring these stories to an air-conditioned, Southern California auditorium of quarter-zip fleece jacket-wearing yuppies.[Jokes aside: Adam has learned a lot from all of his wonderful friends, mentors, classmates, and rezzies at Brown. Keep sharing your stories, keep having meaningful dialogues, and keep venturing into discomfort.]
Best Friends: The Shade BrigadeHopelessly imitated, but never duplicated.
The Shade Brigade is an entity, a movement, and a vision that was formulated in August 2014 when three dark-skinned baddies by the names of Skenda Jean-Charles, Odemi Pessu, and Ade Osinubi set foot on Brown University's campus. These ladies represent the Black diaspora by way of Haiti and Nigeria ?? ??. When Ade, Skenda, and Odemi met that fateful night at a Harambee basement party, their friendship was destined to last a lifetime. While on campus, the Shade Brigade has artfully mastered the practice of throwing shade and has blessed Brown's campus with many creative photoshoots. The Shade Brigade has had international reach as they have been able to take trips across the United States and around the world, always making sure to update their snapchat and Instagram stories with their escapades. Their most recent trip to Cancun was full of riveting adventures and juicy stories. Over the past four years The Shade Brigade has received a number of accolades including the Blognonian's Best Costume of 2016 award, the Blognonian's 2017 Best high school TV throwback Costume, and even personal recognition from the illustrious Gabrielle Union. Not only is the Shade Brigade very beautiful, but they are also they are extremely intelligent. Odemi Pessu will be returning to Brown to pursue a Masters in Public Affairs in June 2019. Skenda Jean-Charles and Ade Osinubi will be back on Brown's Campus to pursue a Medical Degree at the Warren Alpert School of Medicine in July 2018 (didn't you know they were PLMEs :P). You THOUGHT you saw the last of them ;)
From left to right: Odemi Pessu, Skenda-Jean Charles, Ade Osinubi
Best Sports Team: Mande TAsWhether they’re in Ashamu or at the club, the Mande TAs are always ready to drop it down with that dorsi planter. Now that the class is over, we’re not sure what they’ll do with all this energy, but if you can spot them at Ego, you’ll probably figure it out real quick! Catch them teaching folks how to fold at the femoral joint and isolate that lower back at a dance studio near you!
Best Couple: Nikkie Ubinas and Langston Glaude
Let us tell you the love story of Nikkie & Langston. It began when they locked eyes in Intro to Africana, but their fate was sealed after she backed it up at their first of many Harambee parties. They might be your best friends, they might be your mom and dad, but they are definitely the couple that you wanna be around.
Better than Love and Basketball, sweeter than maduros, and lit like Henny, Nikkie and Langston only get better with time. They have a language all their own because they have a connection that goes beyond words.
For the past four years they’ve been partners in Black love. To know Nikkie and Langston is to know that love exists, not just at Brown, but in the world.
Love from your A1 day 1 shippers,
Bella & Maria
Best Couple That Never Happened: AJ Ballard and Rodell JeffersonAre they lovers or are they enemies? The answer may surprise you. You might know if you’ve ever gotten the chance to sit in on one of their intimate Ratty dates. The bond that AJ & Rodell share has been built up over the course of many anime episodes, and many conversations about what Black male intimacy can look like. Rumor has it that Rodell's mom has even given her blessing in their potential marriage! Who knows if wedding bells are in their future, but one thing is for sure: there will always be love.
Most Likely to Be a Famous Author: Kelton EllisKelton is honored—surprised!—to receive this superlative. He would like to credit Toni Morrison and all the rad English teachers he had growing up in Macon, Georgia's public schools. This year, Kelton translated a play for his senior thesis in comp lit. He's so glad to know the wordsmiths he met along the way—especially working at the College Hill Independent. He doesn't really know what his next project will be, but he enjoys sprawling, lyrical novels about love and loss and biophysics or whatever.
Most Likely to Work on Capitol Hill: Kevin Garcia
Your favorite campus progressive has an obvious knack for politics and policy. An Economics and Political Science double concentrator, he has actually already interned on Capitol Hill for Congressman David Cicilline in the summer of 2017. You might catch him debating economic policy and constitutional law, or going on about the importance of the common good. But his real love? Memes. His favorite meme is the ayy lmao ayylien meme. Old school, but respectable.
While he focuses more on how he can change the world outside of politics nowadays, he will always have a passion for public service. When he’s not weaving through research like a true scholar, ask him about his album of the day–because he somehow listens to a new one…every day.
Most Likely to Have a Reality Show: NAARN
You may not know NAARN, but you’ve seen NAARN. Perhaps you have even witnessed the #rare occasion in which all six of them are assembled. Born out of humble beginnings, NAARN was once simply a group chat, but over four years they have welcomed all into their loud, trifling, loving home. NAARN has grown into a space for Black joy, care, and creativity. They hope you all tune into the NAARNetwork™ to continue watching a group of Black boys who are unafraid to love one another, and hold each other accountable to being their best selves.
Most Likely to Write Their Own BBA Post: Alex Volpicello
Alex is a big admirer of Brown Bears Admirers and in need of constant validation and affirmation from his peers, so you’d think that he’d be writing his own all the time. Contrary to popular belief, he actually has better things to be doing with his time (like napping with his cat and being unemployed), but would be happy to spread love and support by writing ~you~ a BBA post <3
Most Brown Famous: Chelse Steele
Chelse, formerly known on Instagram as @yung-chello (shoutout AJ from the Ray J Ballard) and currently known as Madame President can be found, eating a lil snack on the way to a meeting, coding something light on her way out of this CS degree, or dancing her heart out in Ashamu with the Mande class (or at the club low keyyy). She's often caught between saying hi to everyone on campus and trying not to make her friends late whenever they pass the Main Green (lol, sorry Joanna <3). But what ch'all don't know is that in her spare time, she likes to make parody raps on the DL. She figured she'd leave y'all with a lil flow to (w)rap up her legacy at Brown:
Said I'm livin' my best life
Made Mosaic+ with my best friends
No more CS L's, we finessin
You see HG pullin' up, it's like "skrrt"
No new meetings pullin' up, I'm like "skrrt"
I'm livin' my best life
I'm Brown famous, least that's what I'm addressed like
With much love in my heart for this whole community <3 Chelse
Most Likely to Fall Asleep on the Main Green: Miranda Chao
After four years of dedication to sleeping Miranda is proud to hold the title of Most Likely to Fall Asleep on the Main Green. When they’re not sleeping, you can most likely find them singing early 2000s pop punk to their cat Luna, having an existential crisis, or with Pia at the GCB (see above or below). They are working on sleeping less in cars so Fadwa Ahmed won’t be alone on long drives.
Senior Not to Mess With: Patricia Paulino
Whether she’s helping others, in class, or basking under the sun on the Main Green, Patricia is a force to be reckoned with. She is not surprised that the last three winners in this category have all been women of color. Patricia owns her space and understands that being assertive and driven can be misread by some as having a “don’t mess with me” attitude. She’s ok with that. She’ll do her thing with or without you. If you are respectful to all people and don’t try to undermine her hustle, you won't have a problem. If not, it will get messy.
Most Likely to Become a Brown Professor: Lilith Todd
Lilith would like to dedicate this superlative to everyone who politely nodded through her description of The Restoration. If the crisis in the humanities does not make English departments irrelevant, Lilith hopes to return to Brown to teach the literature of the extra-long eighteenth century (1529 – present). Lilith wants to give a genuinely big thanks to her parents, teachers, friends, and dogs that support her academic dreams.
Best Off Campus House: HoegaardenHoegaarden™ was founded in 2017 with a mission to make sure no Thot was left behind. Since then, Hoegaarden has been a strong defender of the Diversity and THOT-clusion Action Plan, through which we have assisted many Thots with their ho improvement needs. All of our efforts would not be possible without Sidegaarden (Aisha Mohammed, Janet Wanjiku, Maame Addae). Together, we make All-of-Gaarden. #NoTHOTSLeftBehind. Thanks for partying with us! XOXO, The Gaarden (Chelse Steele, Gloria Mensah, Joanna Simwinga, Kayla Thomas, and Nia Galloway)
Most Likely to Come Back as a Spring Weekend Performer: Udoka OjiYou may have seen Udoka breaking necks as she walked around campus with her killer fits or turning heads with her infectious laugh or making you dance along as she and KiwiiSour dazzled on stage. But you may not know that her other talents include: people watching at the Ratty, sauntering in late to everything, and taking naps right before going to bed. Although voted most likely to return for Spring Weekend, the gag is she is going to medical school so you might just have to catch her performing in the OR.
Most Likely to Be in the GCB: Pia StruzzieriFirst, a definition in case future employers are reading this: The GCB is a library where Pia Struzzieri, a model student, spends most of her time. Winning Most Likely to Be in the GCB is the greatest achievement of Pia's young life. She owes this accomplishment to her glorious, talented, and enabling friends, to turning 21 in her sophomore year, and to countless pitchers of Naragansett beer.
Most Likely to Win an Oscar: Brianna Cox In addition to thanking her mother, the Academy, and everyone who helped her get to this point, Brianna would like to take a sec to thank her self. This is because she has *actually* done so much to make art communities at Brown more open and inclusive. She saw a need for more representation and though it was not easy, she got to work. She made and held space for herself as a Black woman in a predominantly white and male field to DIRECT and ACT and PRODUCE and make all sorts of work, and has created and held boundless space for countless others to do so as well. She is so proud of herself! She started as a stage director with A Raisin in The Sun and Dreamgirls and then moved to film and created the most highly rated short film of all time!!!!!! Check out the trailer for her latest film, Sidewalks! (ALL OF THE MUSIC IS ORIGINAL, SOUNDTRACK DROPPING SOON) She wrote it. She starred in it. She produced it. She directed it. She does so much! On top of being a student?! On top of school? I mean, wow. And her work is phenomenal and uplifts and represents stories that rarely make it to screen in a profound and empowering way?? I mean come on, no wonder she won the Oscar(s).
Most Likely to Never Step Foot in the Sci Li: Rachael CholakTo learn more about the Donut Queen, click here.
Best Dressed: Justin WillisYou may know Justin as Justin Willis or you may know Justin as J.willstyle. Whatever you know him as, it’s undeniable that Justin takes his clothing game seriously, almost as seriously as his academics at times. This is why JWW is one of his most frequented spots on campus (gotta stay abreast of the latest and greatest at Topman) and why you can often find him in the middle of complete photoshoots on the Main Green. Justin’s incredibly happy he’s been able to explore his passion for fashion during his time at Brown, and he’s even more happy he’s been able to do so with others.
Best First Year Unit: 23
Image via, the winners themselves, and Keiichiro Kinoshita '19.