Questions I had during the Head of the Charles
They say a quintessential part of the Ivy League experience is going to the Head of the Charles regatta in Boston. As a college student in New England, I thought I knew exactly what I was getting into. I braced myself for pastel shorts, Patagonia, and loafers galore. However, it turns out there were many aspects of the Head of the Charles that I was unprepared for.
First of all, racing starts at 8 a.m. 8 a.m. on a Saturday.
Question 1: Why?
Answer: There is no good answer.
This brings me to Question 2: Are rowers human? Getting out of bed at 8:55 a.m. to race to that 9 a.m. class is hard enough—imagine waking up that early to exercise!
Answer: No.
Question 3: Where is the actual event??
Answer: After passing through Harvard's lesser version of the Main Green, one can find the way to the Charles River by integrating into the masses of college-gear-clad people populating the entire area. Just follow the really tall guy wearing a Dartmouth hat!
Question 4: Someone’s just lying in the boat! Could I do this?
Answer: No. See questions 1 and 2.
Question 5: How are we supposed to know which the Brown boat is? Those loud orange shirts are obviously Princeton. That white could be anything though. That other one could be Brown. What do their uniforms even looks like?
Answer: According to www.brownbears.com, Brown’s crew uniforms are white with Brown Bs on them. However, you may not be able to identify them from many yards away during the Head of the Charles even if you are fully aware of this information.
Question 6: Are the people on the boats saying something? Having deep conversations as they row? Is this how athletic people bond?
Answer: I think they just like screaming at each other.
Question 7: How do you know who is winning? Is this even a race?
Answer: An hour or two in and the Brown team's status remains unknown. Food becomes a pressing priority. The sun is getting too hot. You still have no idea what is going on. Also, your proximity to the water is becoming concerning, as that judge-y couple may or may not be contemplating the pros and cons of throwing you in.
Maybe Googling the results tomorrow is the best option. At least you got off campus for the day!
