There's no 'right' way to do Orientation
If you came to Brown assuming that you have to start off the year with a bang or else your freshman year is doomed, you’re not alone. Almost everyone, myself included, had grand ideas about who they were supposed to be and the things they were supposed to do, and this all begins with orientation.Orientation is the first time “college you” is stepping out of the shadows of your high school self, the culmination of endless summer nerves and daydreams. There’s this sense of now-or-never—this sense that if you don’t start the semester off right, all of your plans will be thwarted. If you don’t hop out of your family’s overstuffed minivan and straight into a party full of all your new, cool college friends, you’re supposedly some sort of failure.But this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m sure every single freshman has heard over and over from adults and recent grads to “take things at your own pace” and to “just be yourself, and you’ll find your people.” Well that sounds pretty great in theory, but it doesn’t always feel so wise when you’re standing sweaty and alone at the ice cream social or turning into bed early when you hear the pounding music of a party next door.
How you expect to walk into a party (please know, no one actually looks like this)
Very, very few people (that I know, at least) felt anywhere close to comfortable during orientation—even the ones who seemed born to make Brown their kingdom and even the ones who made everyone laugh, weren’t afraid to dance like crazy, and never got sloppy (side note: how?!). Orientation is basically just half a week of trying to keep it together. It signifies nothing about how the rest of the year will pan out. If you’ve found yourself over these past few days feeling alone and lost, that does NOT mean you will spend the entire year feeling alone and lost. If you decided to stay in instead of going out to that party, don’t hate yourself for it. You’re allowed a break from nonstop introductions and small talk about how you’re just so excited about #college!!!!!.At the same time, though, don’t let yourself get discouraged by a few underwhelming (yet totally overwhelming) days. The only wrong thing to do during orientation is nothing at all. Keep yourself busy. Ask that girl down the hall if she wants to get lunch, or see if your roommate wants to come to this party you’re terrified to go to alone. The one beautiful thing about orientation is that everyone is completely open. Friend groups have not been set, no one has any sort of routine, so tagging along or asking strangers to tag along is never questioned. Surround yourself with people that you know deep in your heart are just as scared as you are, even if it feels forced and you spend the majority of your time missing your high school friends or feeling jealous of everyone else who seems to be having a better time at college than you are. Eventually, it will stop feeling like an act. Eventually, it’ll start feeling like your new, exciting life. (For real, I swear!)It’s impossible not to compare your first few days of college with your high school life, and it’s inevitable you’ll start missing some of the things you swore you never would. It’s important to keep talking to your old friends that always know how to make you feel better, but it’s equally important to push yourself forward instead of holding yourself inside your much more comfortable past. As an extraordinarily naïve person all through high school, I spent most of orientation feeling an odd mixture of shock, awe, and total terror. I danced around in sweaty dorm rooms and laughed a little too hard at jokes I’d only half heard. It was exhausting. I felt like pretty much the same person I’d always been and, at the same time, totally different. After these long nights I’d lay in my bed wondering when I would stop feeling like I was acting in some really, really cliché play. I wanted to know when, if ever, this place would bring me comfort instead of fear. And then, all of a sudden, it happened way sooner than I ever could’ve hoped.So stop worrying about doing orientation right. There’s no such thing. If you’ve made it this far without completely freaking out, you’ve already succeeded.Images via and via.
