Bruno's Bar: The (Cheaper) Painkiller Cocktail
Before diving in, I'd like to take a moment and ask how all of you are feeling. Please choose all that apply.a) Bummed about not getting the warm, tropical island vacation you clearly deserved over spring break.b) Ironically loving the complete lack of snowy/cold weather that this campus has been #blessed with this #spring.c) Stressing over the looming threat of midterms or unfinished thesis work.d) Looking to get a head-start on the SW 2016 festivities.e) All of the above. Yikes.If any of the options seem at all reflective of your current mental state, then take a deep breath and read on because your friends at Bruno’s Bar have just the thing to take the edge off. Allow me to present you to The Painkiller Cocktail. I’m sure you two will get along famously.Boasting a refreshingly smooth and flavorful combination of orange, pineapple, and coconut, this Caribbean-inspired rum drink is guaranteed to ease any symptoms of spring break withdrawal, while transporting you to the idyllic, sunny shoreline of your dreams (Actual results may vary. Beach not included).**Flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts are strongly recommended**Ingredients:Rum: The traditional Painkiller is typically prepared with two 2–4 oz of Pusser’s Dark Rum, but I highly encourage you to stray from the norm, break free from societal expectations, and explore the wide range of much cheaper rums that can be easily found in a liquor store near you. Pour out 2 or 3 ounces (about 1-2 shots) of your chosen rum and make sure to grab an extra solo cup to help you mix the cocktail properly.
Coco Rum: Few things are as effortlessly Caribbean in nature as coconut flavored rum. While Malibu is the original and arguably most well-known brand, it is by no means the only one out there. Rondiaz works just as well and is easier on your wallet. Add about 1 oz of your preferred coco rum variety to the cup (or hollowed out coconut) containing the plain rum and gently swirl in order to mix the contents.
Pineapple Juice: Surprisingly, this may be the trickiest ingredient to obtain and you may have to stray a bit beyond the immediate campus periphery to find it. Maybe even off of College Hill. The horror. If you do survive this off-campus venture, the results are worth it. Pineapple juice combines beautifully with the coconut rum flavor to create a lazy or reductionist version of a Piña Colada. Pour out around 4 oz of juice into the mixture of rums.Orange Juice: Just plain old OJ. I "do not" recommend that you take advantage of the Ratty's selection of fruit juices to acquire this ingredient. Add around 2 oz of OJ to the mix and then use a second cup to mix the cocktail by carefully transferring the liquid contents back and forth from one cup to the other. Repeat this motion a couple of times to ensure a good blend of all the ingredients.Once your drink has been properly mixed, add ice to a second cup and fill it with your delicious creation. Prospective drinkers be warned: with 3-4 oz of alcoholic ingredients in the cocktail, the Painkiller can pack quite a punch. One sip of this tropical concoction will have you lying out on a warm, sandy beach somewhere in the Caribbean. Several more sips and you may end up on the ground under less pleasant circumstances.
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