The Do's and Don't's of Uber Etiquette
Without a doubt, Uber is a great innovation in transportation. This app is especially ideal for college students, considering the rates are cheaper than traditional taxis. Uber is super convenient and its icon on the phone is very chic.However, this hot new way to travel has one issue that many people have picked up on: there is no accepted, unspoken etiquette for Uber passengers. Do you ride in the front seat or the back? Should you talk to your driver or stay quiet? How many animals are you allowed to bring with you in the car? Do small reptiles count as animals? What if you can fit them in your pocket so the driver can’t even see them?These are the kind of important questions that bewildered college students ask everyday. So we made a little list of classic Uber Do’s and Don’t’s to keep your next ride from being awkward. Check ‘em out!Do: speak with your driverUber is meant to be casual and informal! As soon as you hop in the car, start by telling your driver your deepest, darkest secret. Something so personal and devastating that you’ve never told anyone else before. And don’t worry; the Uber driver is contractually obligated to listen to the entire story of how you’ve been embezzling funds at the children’s hospital and then respond with their own story of how they once didn’t help a person who fell down in the street because they were too busy eating a Chipotle burrito. In fact, Uber is now launching a new program where all drivers will become ordained as priests so that they can single-handedly absolve you of your sins while you ride to your friend’s house party!Don’t: try to drive the carEveryone’s made this mistake before, but Uber drivers hate it when new passengers shove them out of the front seat and try to drive themselves to their own destination. Leave the driving to the professionals, right?!
Do: bring a small token or tributeUber drivers are just like you and me, except they are fearsome deities who require regular offerings to maintain appeasement. When you first get in the car, make sure to hand over a lock of your hair or maybe a first-born child, lest you anger these gods and bring their wrath upon the entire campus. If your driver grows restless, burning some sage while singing Gregorian chants is a sure-fire way to calm their soul and get you two on your way faster!Don’t: give birth in the back seatI know, I know, it’s really tempting to create a new life in a random person’s car (we’ve all been there before), but you have to remember that childbirth is known to destroy upholstery. Remember: When in doubt, birth your new baby in the hospital.
Do: make eye contactThis easy sex tip also applies to the emotional experience that is being driven in an Uber. Make sure you really forge that connection with your driver and don’t be afraid to experiment!Don’t: start a rival app called LyftIt’s hard to resist the urge sometimes, but it’s actually super rude to invent Uber’s biggest competitor, Lyft, while in the middle of a ride. It can wait!
Images via and via Kenji Endo '18
