How to maximize a day of Senior Spring...
Senior year is almost over and with the end of senior year comes the crushing realization that you haven't checked nearly enough off your college bucket list.Don’t worry though, seniors, we figured out how to maximize each and every day as the final semester rushes to a close. If you wait until the day before graduation to check everything off your bucket list, then the following list is how to cram everything into the best 24 hours of your life.12:00 AM – Wake up after getting a full 24 hours of sleep the day before. Now you’re well rested for the most Brown day ever.12:15AM – Go to Jo’s for early breakfast. Plot twist, it’s actually breakfast for you.12:45AM – Rage in a random Jameson room with people you don’t know, bring back some orientation week memories.1:05AM – Realize that the real party is in Andrews and take the Brown Shuttle across campus.1:20AM – Realize that the real party is at the Crew House and take the Brown Shuttle across campus.
1:25AM – Realize that the real party was at Shark the whole time, take the Brown Shuttle across campus, and spend time with cool local patrons like the overzealous bachelorette party, the hookah fiends, and the bouncer who probably doesn’t have friends in real life because he’s unpleasant.1:55AM – Desperate burrito from Baja’s.2:10AM – Run through the bus tunnel because you’ve always wanted to do it.2:11AM – Decide a few steps in that it’s a horrible idea and run back out.2:20AM – Pretend to do work in the Sci-Li basement but really just chat the whole time with people you recognize who are actually doing work.3:00AM – Wander around campus and deduce that the early morning is pretty lame on campus. Spend the next two hours trying to climb structures on campus like Indomitable–the bear outside the OMAC–and the anal bead fountain outside Faunce.5:00AM – Eat at Louis’ with people who are pulling all-nighters both for academic and social reasons.6:00AM – Work out at the Nelson – do some bi’s, tri’s, and that weird dragon video game that also is a bicycle.6:10AM – Hit up Poppy’s, the underrated snack shop beneath the Nelson, for a post-workout snack and feel confident that at least 80% of the senior class has never been.6:11AM – Realize that Poppy’s isn’t open and mentally put it on your list to visit later in the day when it opens.6:15AM – Play a game of tennis on the outdoor courts. Bask under the lights of the turf field above the OMAC – play some football, or just take in the scenery.6:55AM – Watch the sunrise from the top floor of J Walter Wilson.7:30AM – Take a shower in the CIT shower.8:00AM – Do a good deed and wake up all the CS kids that fell asleep in the SunLab the night before.8:20AM – Explore the hidden tunnels beneath EmWool.
8:50AM – Take in a couple of 9 a.m. classes that you otherwise would have slept through10:00AM – Tour the portraits in Sayles Hall and think of backstories. Example: “President Vartan Gregorian was made fun of in middle school because of his first name.”10:35AM – Fly paper airplanes off the balcony in Salomon11:15AM – Pretend to understand the art in List11:35AM – Pretend to understand the art in Granoff11:50AM – Watch the pho line get out the door and laugh as you eat Chicken Fingers (a Friday-dependent activity)12:00PM – Take an hour on the main green to appreciate the best day of your life...so far.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfpPArfDTGw1:30PM – Crash and then participate in an ENGN 0900 class1:35PM – Get a handshake from Barrett Hazeltine and then thank him and leave the class1:50PM – Take a tour and ask questions phrased as if you think that the person giving you a tour is the one person in charge of Brown Admissions. E.g. “What are my chances of getting in if I have a 2370, a 3.91, and wrote the novel that Precious, based on the novel Push by Sapphire is based on?”2:15PM – Time for a food tour – Mama Kim’s Dumplings, A shake from BBC, Au Bon Pain pastry, Skewers not, Teavana tea, Antonio's Honey Mustard Chicken Slice, East Side Pockets falafel, a bottled water from Bajas, and capping it all off with a Chaider from Blue State3:30PM – Time for a library tour – the stoic John Hay, the hideous Sciences Library, the passé Rockefeller, the mellifluous Orwig, the mysterious John Carter Brown Library, and the even more mysterious Annmary Brown Memorial Library.
4:15PM – Consider going to the Ratty for the last time4:16PM – Realize that’s a huge waste of time because it’s bad4:17PM – Go anyway because the Ivy Room sends up exotic desserts at 4:30 like green Jell-o with whipped cream and tartufo5:00PM – Listen to someone practicing at the Faunce basement piano5:15PM – Take on the hustlers at the Faunce pool tables5:35PM – Run up the Faunce steps as if you’re Rocky with music blasting5:40PM – Go for a jog down to beautiful Blackstone Boulevard6:25PM – Sneak into the football stadium and take a pic of you doing something funny and post it on your finsta6:45PM – Do work for like 15 minutes so you don't feel horrible about yourself.7:00PM – Buy a fifth from Spiritus for too much and have the guy look at your ID for too long even though you’re almost 22 and you even look mature for your age
7:15PM – Sci Li Challenge, baby7:45PM – Get kicked out of the Sci Li after 8 floors and 8 shots, probably for the best8:00PM – Stumble into the GCB and play pinball8:05PM – Realize that playing pinball is really hard and frustrating8:10PM – Stop playing pinball8:20PM – Eat a BG Bacon, Egg, and Cheese for your 9th and 10,000th calories of the day8:45PM – Admit to that phe that was in your hallway freshman year that you’ve always loved them8:50PM – Head back to Poppy’s, the underrated snack shop beneath the Nelson, to wash down the taste of rejection with a protein shake8:51PM – Realize that Poppy’s is closed again and mentally resign yourself to graduating without going9:00PM – Pretend to understand the first act of a show at PW9:45PM – Take a nap in your favorite on-campus location because it’s been a long day11:30PM – Wake up refreshed, ready to close the day11:59PM – Finish the day off with a motherfucking spicy with. Yeah, bitch.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbV-Q6tz4B8Best day ever.Images via, via, via and via